Nice one for #280.
281. While playing a match against your opponent, he says the word bishop. You accidentally hear:" bit*h sh*t."( b word and s word.) and for some reason, you were allergic to swear words...and you faint. Your opponent wins on time...and wins your money. (You made a bet against this 100 rated player)
100 rated player:1 game and your money You: 0 games and a deeeeeeeeeeep sleep
Idrinkyourhealth wrote:
KenGeneQ wrote:
Lol
What does xD mean?
279. Your playing a game outside. Your in a winning position. Your opponent says to you:"Look up!". You look up...at the sun. You get blinded, you try to move a piece, but you move your king instead. You keep on moving your king, until he checkmates you in the centre.
Chess games: Opponent: 1 you:0
Kills (for eyes): Opponent:2 you:0
xD is an emotion face, like this: :) , or :D but there is ''x'' instead of '':'', which makes the smile more 'radical' since it means that you laugh out loud with closed eyes.
Interesting. Thanks for letting me know what it means!
Np;)...#282: you do a queen sacrifice playing against the queen of Great Britain. Results that it was mate in 4 but the Queen of GB jails you for conspirational implied terrorism against the Royalty. In prison you play blindfold chess against an Al-Qaeda terrorist . After winning him you recover the happiness and become even happier knowing today you will be free cause its your last day in prison...but when you start walking to the exit - the whole prison explodes. And small pieces of you feed a tree in the Queen's garden.
Overall scores:
Queen of GB 3 - you 1
Al Qaeda Terrorist 15,3 - you 1
Tree 4 - pieces of you 0
Other trees in th the Queen's garden 2 - pieces of you - 0
283. you try to memorize every move from move 0-200 possible youre mind over loads with information and you suicide
285. After reading #283 you decide to not remember 200 moves, you remember 1 instead. But when somebody asks you could barely say anything else so they get mad and shoot you with a gun.
286. After reading #283 you decide to not remember 200 moves, you remember 1 instead. But when somebody asks you could barely say anything else so they get mad and stab you with a knife.
287.After reading #283 you decide to not remember 200 moves, you remember 1 instead. But when somebody asks you could barely say anything else so they get mad and burn you up with a flamethrower.
288.After reading #283 you decide to not remember 200 moves, you remember 1 instead. But when somebody asks you could barely say anything else so they get mad and bash you up with a cricket bat.
Idrinkyourhealth wrote:
Np;)...#282: you do a queen sacrifice playing against the queen of Great Britain. Results that it was mate in 4 but the Queen of GB jails you for conspirational implied terrorism against the Royalty. In prison you play blindfold chess against an Al-Qaeda terrorist . After winning him you recover the happiness and become even happier knowing today you will be free cause its your last day in prison...but when you start walking to the exit - the whole prison explodes. And small pieces of you feed a tree in the Queen's garden.
Overall scores:
Queen of GB 3 - you 1
Al Qaeda Terrorist 15,3 - you 1
Tree 4 - pieces of you 0
Other trees in th the Queen's garden 2 - pieces of you - 0
Lol good one! I'll make a similar one
289.you do the Greek gift sacrifice (bishop sac) playing against a Bishop. Results that it was mate in 3 but the Bishop jails you for conspirational implied terrorism against the a Bishop. In prison you play blindfold chess against a terrorist . After winning him you recover the happiness and become even happier knowing today you will be free cause its your last day in prison...but when you start walking to the exit - the whole prison explodes. And small pieces of you feed the cats and dogs.
Overall scores:
Bishop 3 - you 1
Terrorist 15,3 - you 1
Cats and dogs 4 - pieces of you 0
Here is another one: Back in 1981, I was matched up against the top seed of my section, and as black, I won 2 pawns out of the opening, and could have won a third pawn, but decided to eliminate any counterplay by trading the queens. The way this game ended was where I drove my opponent into the mating net, and the checkmating move would have been a king move! This is the only time that has happened in my 30 some odd years of tournament play, and I can be seen with a huge grin on my face, and my opponent mistook my body language and she picked up her king and tried to throw a fastball at my face, and I quickly hit the ground. This king sailed over me, and hit a very heavy set gentleman in the back, and I had to physically restrain him from attacking this petite lady that I somehow managed to defeat, and kind of hurt myself restraining him! Some players there said that I anticipated well after the game as well as during, and one of my friends even stated that that was a very big back that the king nailed. Hope you enjoyed! (LOL) As promised, I will think of some more.
One item that I almost forgot: That day was my father's 50th birthday party and when he heard about this news, he jokingly scolded me for missing his 50th birthday party for a chess tournament.
LOLOLOLOLOL!
She should've done a tableflip instead. That would've had a better chance of harming you.
Lol!
291. You go to a tennis match. You see Magnus Carlsen there, and you challenge him to a game of chess. For some reason, you beat him. You get so happy you run around the stands and scram so loud. You accidentally tripped on a rock and fall out of the stands ,head first on to the ground. (The tennis court!) You scream...and one of the two tennis players was distracted and accidentally hit the ball...at 200 km/h...on your head. You get knocked out. While the first aid people were rushing to you, the tennis player was practicing his serves...but for some reason a flying elephant flew past and the tennis ball hit the elephant at 220 km/h. The elephant was weak...so it was knocked out...and fell on you. Crushed to death!
Overall scores:
Chess games: Magnus:0 You:1
Trips:Rock:1 You:0
Head shots:Tennis player:1 You:0
Shots:Tennis player:1 Flying elephant:0
Crushes:Flying elephant:1 You:0
Race to get to you:Elephant is 1st place, First aid people was 2nd place
Way 292: Quite amusingly, I left my coat under my chair and sat down for my 6th game in 3 hours. As I dozily left, I pushed my chair back. It fell over my coat, and actually caused me to fall over my chair. Silly me, I was not hurt, but it is possible to sustain an injury in this manner.
I tried leaning back in my chair in the weird chairs of another school district. I almost fell
#whichever number this is. Dont play @ a desk, as if you get mad, you might smash your fist on the desk and have a hand injury. Almost happened to me once in online chess.
#whichever number this is. Dont play @ a desk, as if you get mad, you might smash your fist on the desk and have a hand injury. Almost happened to me once in online chess.
#294
How do you know which number this is. I ont. I would insert question mark, but I have a french keyboard not containing one.
Way 292: Quite amusingly, I left my coat under my chair and sat down for my 6th game in 3 hours. As I dozily left, I pushed my chair back. It fell over my coat, and actually caused me to fall over my chair. Silly me, I was not hurt, but it is possible to sustain an injury in this manner.
292+2 = 294
Ok.
#295: TRAPPED by the quote area, you go very nervous and receive a strain injury (after losing a chess game u played before against the OP) which leads in violent behaviour of you in the streets...a policeman sees you and knocks you with his electric stick in the head and fries your head due to the overload of the attomic battery combined with littium by error inside his stick made in China. Your fried head is dragged by a tornado and the jet stream winds make it fly in the stratosphere and it finally lands in Philippines falling and hurting a carabao (also called the water buffalo - which is the representative animal of Philippines ). The authorities sentence your head to 16 974 years in prison according to their policy violation rules.
After 16 974 years the Earth is colonized by aliens, they find your crane under the rests of antique cities and revive you with their advanced molecular technology from a cell found with DNA in your worn crane. You, alive, realize that you are the only survival in the planed and aliens revived you, you jump happy, you can't believe it ''OHH YEAH'' you say,... you hug one of the alliens with a A-100101011110 identification on it's face, but the A-100101011110's skin is ultra-radioactive and you got fried again. 100101011110 actually thought you were a violent gorilla and desintegrates you with his desintegrator for the good of the 111011000011111111011-AA Nation.
------------------------Overall scores:-----------------------
You 0 - OP 1
You 0 - Quote Area 1
Policeman 3 - You 0
China 1 - You 0
Global Warming 7.75 - Your head 0
Philippines authorities 16974 - Your head 0
Carabao 1,1 - Your head 2,1
A-100101011110 90 000 000x - You 0.001101
111011000011111111011-AA Nation 1 - [Space occupied by other particles but not by you] 0
Lol
What does xD mean?
279. Your playing a game outside. Your in a winning position. Your opponent says to you:"Look up!". You look up...at the sun. You get blinded, you try to move a piece, but you move your king instead. You keep on moving your king, until he checkmates you in the centre.
Chess games: Opponent: 1 you:0
Kills (for eyes): Opponent:2 you:0
xD is an emotion face, like this: :) , or :D but there is ''x'' instead of '':'', which makes the smile more 'radical' since it means that you laugh out loud with closed eyes.