2822. Everybody just calm down and have a banana, maybe do some yoga.
The mighty banana eases menstrual cramps, eases constipation, helps with counting and winning chess games, and tightens butt cheeks.
"Om, ram, ham, lamb, sdram, synchronous dynamic random access memory, clam, jam, clam, sdram, lamb, ham, ram, om..."
GIT OUTTA MA SWAMMP!!!
3001. This post is OVER. We should make
3001-4000 worst things
Bye!
First of all, don't leave. We will keep doing posts here, going into the, 4000s. Next, just because it is post #1000 doesnt mean we have done 1000 things. some of the comments could be talking ABOUT other posts (like this one)
2823. Being way, way too sexy to stop at post 1006:
Hey, hey, hey!
Guess what? Swat?!
Well, I'll tell you swat:
I'm too sexy for my viola case,
too sexy for my chess set case,
too sexy for T-Rex's dino-biscuits case,
too sexy for my flowers's's's vase.
And I'm too sexy for my viola bow,
too sexy for the chess pieces I throw,
too sexy when they land on a hairy gorilla's big toe,
too sexy for my flowerssssss to grow, oh woe, oh woe...
So I'm too sexy for my viola,
too sexy to play chess while drinking a Coca-Cola,
too sexy for my T-Rex to eat granola,
too sexy for a Worcestershire Casserole, uh...
And so I'm too sexy for this post,
too sexy for Ghostqiuyu or a holey ghost,
too sexy for Spam on eggplant with Melba toast,
too sexy for #1006 at most!!!
"Got Melba toast?"
BECOMING
COG
#1
WORCHESTERSHIRE
COME
HOME
I
NEED
YOU
FOR
DINNER
PAWNS
TSHREK
T-SHREK
IS HERE
TO EAT YOUR PAWNS
NOW
WE
MUST
RUN
Twighead's car is an automobile of many differentials... My car is a chocobo.
my car is a lamborghini 
Pity the...
my car is a lamborghini
my car is a posseduta-da-demoni 
2824. Contemplating too much which opening would be best for the chess game: 1. d4, 1. e4, or 1. j4.
9999. bagellips
just pure bagellips all over the house
Oh boy! Yippee for bagellips! And I was wondering what I was going to do this Friday evening... silly me...
2032 spiting at the borad.
2825. Spiting at the Borad some more:
We go spiting at the Borad
T-Rex moved to Latvia (callin' himself Voldemar) but we call him Vlad
He's a poet and he don't know et because he thinks et's just a Latin Latvian fad
Turquoise pantaloons, taking a dump in the saloons, drinking makes us bad
so we play chess to count up the checkers thinking of Stalingrad
beedie beedie bum bum beedie beedie bum bum and Volgograd
beedie Twiki bum bum beedie beedie bum Twiki and Trinidad
beedie beedie bum bum hiding the Spam bum bum and Lake Chad
bum bum beedie beedie bum bum beedie beedie (return to chorus)
So we put our paws and our pawns above the ceiling like the roof cannot pause us
What it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn't, where'd you hide the dinobiscuits, Gus?
Emay onay peakasay aday Nglisheay so we have niente to discuss
And you think that I'd think that you would not think I'd make this big of a fuss?
bum bum beedie beedie bum bum beedie beedie (don't return to chorus, for the chorus has disowned you by now...)
Yes, but first I need to eat some chili and go spiting at the borad.
Ladies and Dinosaurs, please visit the new post site:
https://www.chess.com/forum/view/fun-with-chess/2826-4000-worst-things-to-do-while-playing-chess
T-Rex thanks you for your support!
Yours truly,
ChessPlayinDude4sevén
2079 Ordering your opponent to spit at you.
2821. Ordering your opponent to spit at himself which causes him to choke on his spit and vomit on your lap. You give him a spittoon as a gift and he uses it as a wall in the chess game.