2115- Trying to kick gorilla's ass
2130. Trying to kick a gorilla's donkey in a Donkey-Kong/chess simul when you suddenly get your foot stuck in the monitor and realize you may need to obtain a new shoe so your toes don't get cold.
2106. Thinking to yourself about the conundrums of size, design, and shape within a torroidal vacuum while sticking your limbs in a vacuum while moving your bishop and thinking about sacking your queen but considering moving your pawn after that too then eating icecream worchestershire style with a t-rex on the side for extra style
2131. Having a liverwurst sandwich during the game when you could be having a liverworcest sandwich instead. That would be betterer, even at its worcestest.
2132. Demanding to your opponent that before you agree to a draw, he must say, "Worcestershire! Woooo-rst for sure! Worbestershire! Best for sure!" 300 times in a row quickly without any pronunciation errors.
2133. Never achieving your ghouls in the game, nor your thirst for victory, because your inner demons have you playing like a zombie. And please, never use the fireball on your opponent's king, otherwise you will end up having to pay him for a new chess set or buying the next round of drinks.
"Save water, drink king's blood... Tis the season..."
"I don't always drink Absinthe while I play chess, but when I do,
I seem to always play the Anti-Borg Opening.
...Stay thirsty, my alcoholic friends."
2117-Making cake.
3.141 - Baking pi.
3.1415 - Kicking pi.
3.14159 - Kicking bluebirdbattery's pi.
3.141592 - Becoming a pi P.I.
3.141592a - Becoming a pi-pie P.I. inside a pylon.
3.1415926 - Baking a pi-neapple upside-down pi by standing on your head while you play chess from the ceiling and criticizing your opponent for being a right side up midget.
2135. Watch another chess game.
3.14159265 - Ah yes, but of course, I almost forgot: kicking a coal pi. My favorite...
2136. Play piano.
2136. Play piano.
2137. Play Verdi so forte in the bowling alley no one can hear the ball drop.
"Back to your chess game, Giacomo, and leave my balls out of it..."
"Si! Less talkie-talkie, and more-a ping-a-pong!"
2138. Interrupting the chess game because you think the Thanksgiving turkey is done now. Oh yeah, today is Dec. 17th, it's probably done by now.
2139. Wondering why the turkey smells like limburger cheese but all you see is ashes and then realizing that your house burned down in the fire.
2140. Interrupting the chess game to get a head start on the ham for next Thanksgiving. Now, um, nobody get me started on "ham" or "losing a ham", uh, we probably don't want to go there right now.
2142. Riding a horse?
Let's just have a circumference on this later, guys; I'll meet you in my office out in the pylon by Marie Callender's and Marie's Calendars. Please don't be late. Free, large diameter, pi for everyone if you show... Be there, or be circle, idiots... Free dump-filled blintzes as a warm-up appetizer for all! An event so all-encompassing you just gotta be there to protract it.
2142. Riding a horse?
But, of course!
Pardon me, my good sir, but would you (might) happen to have any
Grey Poupon or Heinz Worcestershire Sauce?
2129. Reciting five hours of poetry on okra and gorillas during a long chess game when your opponent obviously wants to hear poetry on couscous and flugelhorns and Foghorn Leghorn quotes instead, but you assume, incorrectly, that you'll save that for the encore.