563. you spend all day trying to figure out witch pawn is the right one to move.
564. you get the king and queen mixed up.
565. your mom sends you to chess club and you flip out.
566. you have no idea what chess is.
5,000 Signs You Don't Know Enough About Chess
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you have lost this way
you are rated 1000 and see your opponent's brain loss rating, a world champion rating of0!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you need to study the K versus K endgame.
571. You think the knight can move anywhere on the board because there is no rider to control it
572. You say, "I'm not prepared to go to chess club! I don't know the K vs. K endgame!"
573. You insist on continuing play in a K + N vs. K endgame
574. You insist on continuing play in a K + B vs. K endgame
575. You might as well be playing Giveaway when you play normal chess
576. Your username is "gmme" but your rating is 100
The pawn knew he had to open a Pawn shop
Akatsuki64 wrote:
72. You can't beat your friend at chess, and you think you can beat a grandmaster.
What if your friend is a grandmaster?
577. Your opponent (correctly) tells you your only move to avoid mate and you dont do it out of spite.
578.You consider game 30 to be a long time control
579. This is your puzzle:
OrangeJ wrote:
Akatsuki64 wrote:
72. You can't beat your friend at chess, and you think you can beat a grandmaster.
What if your friend is a grandmaster?
funny.
[COMMENT DELETED]
Aug 18, 2012
0
#415
OrangeJ wrote:
Akatsuki64 wrote:
72. You can't beat your friend at chess, and you think you can beat a grandmaster.
What if your friend is a grandmaster?
It doesn't change anything. If your friend is a GM and you can't beat him, but then think you can beat other GM's, then there you go. If your friend is a super GM, like Carlsen or Fischer, and you're just a GM, then this changes everything.
581. You think you can only move your queen or king if you are royalty
582. You think that write castling as 4. castle
583. You annotate knight as K
584. You annotate king as Kg
585. You think pawns can go backward if they capture anything worth more points than them
586. You insist on the king being worth 1,000,000 points
587. You don't know point value
588. You don't know why piece value matters
589. You spend so much time making signs that chess.com logs you out automatically
590. You spend all your time reading the forums but don't know what the forum topic you're reading is talking about
591. You play 1. Rxh8, then Rxg8, then Rxf8, then Rxe8, then Rxd8, then Rxc8, then Rxb8 and then Rxa8 all in one move
592. You think capturing en passant means taking it like this: 3. b4xc4
593. You look at the chessboard and say, "Oh, yay! Checkers!"
594. Your best game as black went like this: 1. e4 e5 2. Qh5 Ke7 3. Qxe5#
595. You annotate your game like this: 1. e4???? f5!!! 2. Nc3?? g5!! 3. Qh5#???
596. You annotate a move when you are threatening checkmate like this: 4. Qh7!!!!!!!!!!
59. You say, "Can you play me?" and are checkmated in 2 moves
597. You make a 1-move checkmate with 1. exe8=Q#
598. You sacrifice large material to trap your opponent's queen and you say, "Checkmate!" and your opponent replies, "That's my queen, not my king."
599. You think you must lock the queen in a dungeoun for it to be trapped
600. You think a king sacrifice is an excellent move because it will force mate in 390 (600th post!)
601. You think you can win by checkmating the queen or king
602. You think chess is just like checkers but with fancier pieces
Aug 18, 2012
0
#418
Can we please stop with the 1. e4 e5 2. Qh5 Ke7 3. Qxe5#? I think chessgm8 has posted several of those already!
You know they used to use S for knights.
You set the board with white square to the left.
552. You fart and say you discovered releasing gas from your body.
553. You think that Albert Einstein is a genius
554. You think Vincent Van Gogh is your grandmother.
What do those have to do with chess?