Chess slang

Have a discussion here but it has to be heavy chess slang, it should be unintelligible with standard english

Cheapos are for duffers.

Sorry, but I obviously do not speak English so well, but in Russian I could demonstrate such a slang that ...

Not a true story: I was playing a patzer who played b26 but then this NM kibitzed for him and proposed a cheapo, but later he flagged. 

Hey yall che lovs hope u got time for dis cool tacticcol tact boys. im playing a patzer he only has 99.9 per acc

By all that is Caissa, this pawn grubbing duffer thought he put me in zugzwang when he made what he thought was a quiet move on my Kingside but it will cost him a tempo after my Zwischenzug.

What??

Ta f....

I was moving downstairs with the intent to widen the beachhead when he traded his bishop for the wing pawn and that's when I realised I wasn't inside the square and there was no way I could catch that last one before it underpromoted and I had to resign. 

At my chess club when we play bughouse all you ever hear is SAC on f7! or I NEED A KNIGHT NOW!!! I think a lot of the freshmen left our club because they couldn't bear to hear the upperclassmen yelling at each other like animals every lunch.

My non-patzer opponent in  skittles played the B90 poisoned pawn gambit and had a iron bishop which had an absolute pin on me and the other one was fianchettoed. I had a backward, isolated, and doubled pawns with alekhine's gun. I later used stockfish depth 20 which told me the position was +0.2.  I was down an exchange, but I had adequate compensation. He tried to perpetual me and cheapo me. In the endgame, we had opposite coloured bishops and attempted to create a fourtress and I put him in Zugswang and alsoa Ziswischenzug. I was later playing k+p vs k and he took the opposition since a class c kibitzed and later I flagged

I'm sure a non-chess player would not understand that one at all

Yeah, right? q=)