I think no one understood my joke...
Funny Chess Jokes
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Yeah, you should maybe explain it, but on the other hand... a joke which has to be explained ... 
U could understand even if I don't explain it if you know at least bits of math.
2 friends argue about chess. 1 friend was listening but wasn't watching. Friend 1: Hey! Stop with that knight! Friend 2: Stop with that bishop also. Friend 3: What is wrong with putting a bee shop open at night? Friend 1: Dude, me and Friend 2 were playing chess. Friend 3: Oh, sorry I bothered you. Friend 2: So, get the hell outta here!
PerfectConscience wrote:
Here's a funny narrative I came across recently:
Chess is a fun game and easy to learn. You play on a board of 164 squares, which are coloured light and dark, and there are two armies, one black and grey. The rows are called ranks and the columns are called officers. The aim of a game of chess is to capture your opponent’s Queen and then they will make a sad face. The Queen is worth nine pounds, which is the same as three rooks. If you are in check from a friend it is called check, mate. At the start of the game all the pieces are queued up in a line waiting for a bus. So at the start of the game you have to get your pieces off the back rank and into the box. Get your queen out as soon as you can and you might be able to win a pawn. It’s always better to send one piece off to attack by itself, in case your pieces are needed to defend somewhere else. Also in the opening, keep your king in the middle so it can escape to either side. Make some space at the sides by moving the pawns in front of your knights and rooks. If your opponent puts their pieces in the centre you can surround their army and win easily.
The most common opening system for juniors is the Grand Piano; another is the Royal Opal. An opening gambit is where you give up pawn to confuse your opponent. Once the opening is over, you have the muddle game. In this part of the game, you can win points by eating Tictacs. These are called forks, knives, nets, hooks, skewers, ropes, pins, needles and heffalump traps. Sometimes there are no tictacs and you have to win by attacking where your opponent is strongest. You can tell where your position is strong and your opponent’s position by looking for things like knight signposts, bad bishops (this is a bishop that hasn’t done its homework), open lines, and pawns which are duffled, isosceles or westward. Once you are ahead on points, you should stop bothering about tictacs. Instead you swap off all the pawns so you can win with your extra piece. Make sure you keep your King safely hidden away at the end. If you get a pawn to the end you can turn it into any piece you want, for example, a King. Then you can hunt down the opposing army with your extra material. When your opponent has no pieces left except the King, and the King can’t move, then you win on points.
PerfectConscience, this is the best joke on this thread so far! Congratulations!
The_Chess_Bishop hat geschrieben:
2 friends argue about chess. 1 friend was listening but wasn't watching. Friend 1: Hey! Stop with that knight! Friend 2: Stop with that bishop also. Friend 3: What is wrong with putting a bee shop open at night? Friend 1: Dude, me and Friend 2 were playing chess. Friend 3: Oh, sorry I bothered you. Friend 2: So, get the hell outta here!
Get the Hell outta here
shockinn wrote:
The_Chess_Bishop wrote:
2 friends argue about chess. 1 friend was listening but wasn't watching. Friend 1: Hey! Stop with that knight! Friend 2: Stop with that bishop also. Friend 3: What is wrong with putting a bee shop open at night? Friend 1: Dude, me and Friend 2 were playing chess. Friend 3: Oh, sorry I bothered you. Friend 2: So, get the hell outta here!
What's funny in this?
Don't give up your day job
Is this supposed to be funny?
I haven't laughed yet...
Shockinn, to be clear on my previous joke I made, the third friend mispronounced the words bishop and knight. Please don't tell me this isn't still clear to you.
Don't get it.
It's a chess joke so the part in red is mandatory.
Apr 27, 2015
0
#95
@shockinn: I agree with you. Because English is not my first language I have looked for a while which pun did I miss? I couldn't see any, hence concluded that the level of the pun was too difficult too me.
Some of you understands, some of you doesn't. I'm not even American, British, South African, nor Indian. But I can still comprehend and use English better than my country's local language.
Apr 27, 2015
0
#97
@shockinn: nah, that is too easy. In this case would the correct hypotheses be that the last three sentences, half of the joke, could have been left out. But that is against all odds, as that is the first thing a writer of a joke does: leaving everything out that is not relevant and ending with the surprise. If it would have been in Dutch I would have known. I am more modest in English.
And so I found this joke about chess when looking for something else and what did I see to my surprise? It was at least one sentence too long.
Really Clever Kid:"Hey, you wanna hear a pun?"
Really Hot Girl:"Yeah, sure!"
Really Clever Kid: "What do you call a girl living in the Playboy Mansion of Czechoslovakia?"
Really Hot Girl: "I.D.K. What?!??!!?"
Really Clever Kid: "A checkmate!"
Really Hot Girl: "LOL!!!!!! Lets have sex..."
Let's try to add a joke myself (with the moral of the story in mind):
What is the similarity between hearing a good pun and seeing a good pin?
The other guy is smart.
@MuhammadAreez10:
Thanks. That was a funny narrative I found somewhere long back.
Pawn is born free, and everywhere he is in chains.
[Rate my joke 1-10. Also, the joke is associated with math. So try to understand the joke if you know less about math.]
My math teacher, who is also good in chess, told me some equations associated with chess. Math teacher: I am going to tell you an equation associated with chess. Me: Sure thing sir! Math teacher: First equation: Is it true that a bishop x a rook = queen? Me: I can conclude that the equation is true because the queen has both of the bishop and rook's abilities. Math teacher: Second equation: Is it true that a pawn + 6 steps across the board = a queen, a rook, a bishop, or a knight? Me: It is sir, because when the pawn reaches the end of the board, which is also six steps, the pawn can be promoted to a queen, a rook, a bishop, or a knight. Math teacher: Last equation: Is it true that a player loses when the other player does the equation: Losing player's king + checkmate = victory? Me: Sir, it is stated in the rules of chess when you mate a player in chess, you will obviously win. Sir, I also have a question for you. Does the equations you said before is applicable in real life, especially the first and second one? Math teacher: Not sure. Let's just conclude if Queen Elizabeth was also a product of an rook and bishop or a pawn that took 6 steps.
I really love math.
Hahaha. Nice one. I like the muddle game part.