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Make a joke

  • #1
    1. Wesley So would say: So what if I lose. 

    2.Hikaru dikaru dock

    Nakamura went up the clock

    The clock struck 1

    Nakamura ran down

    Hikaru dikaru dock

     

    Mag'nuts' Carlsen (btw that username has been taken)

     

    Carpov: I drive to work in my 'car'pov. 

     

    Kasparov is a strong master. He's so strong that people think he's a chess dinosaur. That dino is above all the other weak mammals. I guess scientists have yet to discover a new species of dinosaur which scientific name is Kasparasaurus Rex. K-Rex

  • #2

    wink.png

  • #3

    Thx. Why don't you make a joke.

  • #4

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Smells like carrots. 

  • #5

    Me neither *sigh*

    Bye.

  • #6
    H
  • #7

     

    #2596
     

    My friend can tell what wood a bar top is made of, just by touching it.
    He's what we call counter intuitive.


    —Stephen Bales, St Ives, Cornwall, UK,

  • #8

    I'll never forget my grandfather's last words,
    "Stop shaking the ladder, you little @#$# !"


    —John Hansen, Moorpark, California

  • #9

     Stolen from another chess site, but this was stolen from a baseball joke:

    A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!

    “What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.

    “What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”

    “Tell me the good news first.”

    “Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”

    “Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”

    “You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”

  • #10

    that's so funny XD

     
  • #11

    My jokes are original. 

  • #12

    I made them up. 

  • #13
    how do you catch a unique rabbit ? unique up behind it.
  • #14

    Jokes about squares and stuff:

    1. If a knight on f3 can't go to d4. He'll take a detour on d2. 

    2. The e-pawn disappeared from the board after being captured by a knight. He was on e7 and was just about to queen. This was the pawn's conclusion to the king: H'e8' me!

    i-pawn: 'Aw man! Can't there be 9 files?! 

  • #15
    Eric0818 wrote:
    WacoOne wrote:

    What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 

    ...

    ...

    ...

    ...

    Smells like carrots. 

    its supposed to be about chess i think

    He just said, "make up a joke"! wink.png

  • #16
    imsighked2 wrote:

     Stolen from another chess site, but this was stolen from a baseball joke:

    A chess master died – after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!

    “What’s it like, where you are now,” he asked.

    “What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news.”

    “Tell me the good news first.”

    “Well, it’s really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they’re all here, and you can play them.”

    “Fantastic!” the friend said, “and what is the bad news?”

    “You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday.”

    Lol in my country there is similar joke about soccer.

  • #17

    I invited Garry Kasparov for dinner. It took him half an hour to pass the salt...

  • #18
    tell him "next time don't swallow the salt shaker".
  • #19

  • #20

    Why did the chess player cross the road?

     

    To check the other side.

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