Nixon Congratulates Fischer in '72
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Interesting that Buchwald brings up the Guy Lombardo reference. Haldeman mentions in his diary that that was about the extent of The Trickster's knowledge of jazz (or I guess I should say "jazz"). Apparently Art had already heard rumors to that effect, even back then.
What did Garri have to say about the piece (if anything)?
Here's what Kasparov said about the piece:
A joke's a joke, but here Fischer's character is guessed with striking accuracy: that predatory directness, that uncompromising and pragmatic nature, and at the same time that simple-mindedness and awkwardness of the 'boy from Brooklyn' -- persistent complexes, extending from a childhood full of anxiety and deprivation...
Apparently, Nixon did send Fischer a congratulatory telegram and did in fact invite him to an official reception at the White House. Kasparov quotes Fischer: "I declined, because I found out that they wouldn't pay me anything for the visit. Besides, it would have been a serious distraction..."
"Hello, Bobby, this is President Nixon. I just wanted to call and congratulate you on your victory in Iceland."
"Make it short will you? I'm tired."
"This is a great day for America, Bobby."
"It's a greater day for me. I won $150,000 and I showed these Icelandic creeps a thing or two."
"You know, Bobby, I almost made the chess team at Whittier College."
"Big deal."
"But I went out for football, instead."
"Is that what this call is about?"
"Now wait a minute, Bobby. I always call anyone who wins a championship for America. I would like to give you a white-tie dinner at the White House when you come back."
"How much will you pay me to come?"
"Pay you? I don't pay people to have dinner at the White House."
"Then what's in it for me?"
"I'll invite the cabinet, the Supreme Court, the leaders of Congress, and every rich Republican chess player in the country. I'll get Guy Lombardo to play after dinner. It's the least I can do for someone who beat the great Spassky."
"All right, I'll come, but these are my demands: You send the presidential plane to Iceland to pick me up. You personally meet me at the plane, and provide me with a limousine, a suite of rooms, a private tennis court, my own swimming pool and 10 Secret Service men so I'm not bugged by the press."
"I think I can do that, Bobby."
"And no television cameras."
"No television cameras?"
"I hate television cameras. They send me into a frenzy. If I see one television camera at the dinner, I'm walking out."
"Don't worry, Bobby. There won't be any television cameras."
"And no talking while I'm eating. I can't eat when people talk."
"It's very difficult to hold a large dinner at the White House and not have anyone talk."
"That's your problem. If I hear noise of any kind, you're going to have to get yourself another world champion chess player."
"Anything you say, Bobby. It's your dinner."
"What time is this shindig of yours going to take place?"
"I thought about 8 o'clock."
"I'll be there at 9. I don't like to stand around and make small talk with a lot of stuffed-shirt politicians."
"I understand, Bobby".
"And I'm bringing my own chair. I can't eat when I'm using someone else's chair. And you better know this right now. I don't like bright lights when I'm eating. If the lights are too bright, I don't start the first course."
"No bright lights. I got you, Bobby. I just want to add how proud we all are of you. You're an inspiration to the young people of America."
The President hangs up and calls Richard Helms of the CIA. "Dick, I'm sending the presidential plane to Iceland to pick up Bobby Fischer. Do me a favor. After he's on board, will you see that it's hijacked to Cuba?"
A parody by Art Buchwald, originally published July 27, 1972 (the day of the 8th game) in the New York Post. I just came across this for the first time in volume 4 of Kasparov's My Great Predecessors.