You're a bad chess player if you yell excitedly 'I win!' after your opponent puts you in checkmate.
Signs you're a bad chess player
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Oct 1, 2011
0
#323
MyCowsCanFly wrote: You'd pray to God for help during a game but are afraid that would be seeking outside assistance.
A man is losing in a chess game, he can't see any good moves to play so he says "God, please help with this game." the man relooks at the board and finds a queen sac for a mate in 3. the man looks up at heaven and says "never mind"
N2UHC wrote:
Nethinim wrote: Your chess set consists of 1 king, 1 queen, 8 pawns, 2 bishops, 2 rooks, and 2 "horsies"
More like, 2 kings, 2 queens, 16 pawns, 4 "pointy-headed guys", 4 "horsies," and 4 "castles."
I nearly used castles instead of rooks but I know some people who adamantly insist that castle is the better/preferred name and I didn't want to start any nomenclature debates :P
Oct 1, 2011
0
#325
Well, which notation looks better?
Rc1
Cc1
We do use "Rook" in notation, and I believe that term is much more widely used.
You keep losing on time in correspondence chess.
all so very true too me
Timing is important in chess - when to defend, when to attack etc. Forgeting to turn up for a game, for instance, is an example of bad timing, thus bad play.
It's also important to know the weak squares, and a perfect calculation.
Oct 2, 2011
0
#330
You MIGHT be a bad chessplayer if:
1. You catch your queen messing around with the other king.
2. Your bishop nails a proclamation on your side of the board
3. Your king lays over automatically, no need for tipping.
Oct 2, 2011
0
#331
DavidStyles wrote:
N2UHC wrote:
Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.
Lol. My best victory on here was winning on time when my opponent inexplicably disappeared from the site for a while.
I really want to beat someone rated higher than 1996 so I have a different "best win" on my page :p
Unfortunately, my "next best win" was only in the 1700s.
Elo rating, that is, not the century. If I'd been playing chess since the 1700s, I'd be better by now.
http://www.chess.com/echess/game.html?id=47294720
Screams out loud:
LUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!
You think you can memorize all the winning lines from the first move.
You can memorize it!
Oct 3, 2011
0
#334
You are wondering how to modify scholar's mate to deal with an annoying pawn on e6 and knight on f6.
TobusRex wrote:
You MIGHT be a bad chessplayer if:
1. You catch your queen messing around with the other king.
2. Your bishop nails a proclamation on your side of the board
3. Your king lays over automatically, no need for tipping.
95 theses?
nate23 wrote:
MyCowsCanFly wrote: You'd pray to God for help during a game but are afraid that would be seeking outside assistance.
A man is losing in a chess game, he can't see any good moves to play so he says "God, please help with this game." the man relooks at the board and finds a queen sac for a mate in 3. the man looks up at heaven and says "never mind"
That's pretty damn funny !!
Oct 3, 2011
0
#337
you think Ruy Lopez is a famous composer of poems, and not the Spanish Bishop that advocated Bb5 instead of the more popular Bc4
Signs you might be a bad chess player:
1. You think pawn can move two squares up anytime.
2. You yell "Checkmate!" on the first move.
3. You try to develop your king in the opening. (To the center of the board.)
You offer your opponent a draw after he checkmated you.
Hahaha! And he accepts the draw offer that makes him worse than you.