Signs you're a bad chess player

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nofxmisfit

WIN :D

e4nf3

In some cultures, it may be considered cool to be a "bad boy".

Never, though, in chess circles. Being reknowned as a bad chess player could earn you a flogging.

Hey...I don't make the rules.

JesusReigns

another sign:

you think that chess is a different way to say Chest...

e4nf3

A bad chess player is one who thinks The Sicilian is a hotel in Italy.

e4nf3

I don't have any more.

Wait...last one...

From the conversation at the nearby table at the cafe where they are playing chess, you overheard that Mr. Giuoco gives piano lessons and you decide to give him a call.

chessgdt

your favorite opening when you play as white is:

e4nf3

...and, you think this was Bobby Fischer's favorite opening (forget that e4 nonsense) and that it is called the Nimzo something or other.

chessdude46

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You get into this position, and then start bragging about how you spooned your opponent.

e4nf3

Nice puzzle.

Also, you have just placed a large wager that Zwischenzug is the capitol of Switzerland.

AndyClifton

and zugzwang is a kind of toast

e4nf3

He is someone who thinks that a Pawn Shop is in business to sell chess pieces.

e4nf3

Very last one...

You think that Capablanca is in western Morroco where Humphrey Bogart starred in your favorite movie and you log onto Expedia to book a one month vacation there.

vowles_23

You still bother to read this thread. Tracking off!

e4nf3

Say what?

glerpydoo

refer to post 1066.

e4nf3

OK, now I go...but I can't resist one more.

If you don't like it, stop here...right now. No peeking, either.

You are a bad chess player because you think triangulation has something to do with sunken ships near Bermuda.

e4nf3

I forget...oh...wait...

You are a bad chess player when you review each and every one of Haywood's blitz games and you go around telling everyone you know that he is the best dang chess player in the whole, wide world!

e4nf3

This one is so...so stupid that I am embarassed to tell you.

What the hell...

You are a bad chess player because you are an existentialist and you believe the reason for living is to live and that, you conclude, means only to play chess...even if you happen to be very, very crummy at it.

Think about it.

e4nf3

You come across the book Chess for Dummies but you don't buy it because you do not think it pertains to you.

1ernie

 You may be a bad chess player when

You may be a bad chess player when  

Your opening moves are published

      as a  random number table.