Signs you're a bad chess player

That's so wrong.

Its nice when you want to watch a particular movie and never sense that your S.O. ever resists your specific desire, because of how good looking a particular person is. 

If your a bad chess player: the enemy takes your pawn. If the enemy takes your pawn you'll kick yourself. If you kick yourself, you'll be mad at yourself. If you get mad at yourself, you'll forget to move the next pawn to the left. If you forget to move your pawn to the left, then you'll suddenly wake up in a bar and remember pawns don't go that way. If you remember pawns don't go that way, you'll make a bad pun in your head about the enemy's pawnage. Do not make a bad pun in your head about pawnage. Switch to a chess tutorial, and save your thoughts from bad chess puns. Then you'll be as good as me! Wait, I'm rated 600... And the last time I won, it was against a seven-year-old  who didn't know how to play... *sigh*... To the tutorial I crawl...

Well, you are off to a good start...well, at least it's a start. Just imagine how much progress you'll be able to make over the next 60 or 70 years.

awesome use of inspiration

to use another comercial.

can switching to geico save you 15% or more on car insurance...?

Does Futbol anouncer <foget the name> make any SPORT interesting.

and it cutsenes to two chess players and Black plays Nxg4 and anouncer yells GOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLL for a long time after anouncing a bunch while the guy thinks. if you pay close attention to it. there are two light squared Bishops in the white camp. some one figured that the fastest way to get to the position was through a Sicilian Najdorf. lol

You spent five minutes calculating your next move and then proudly castle into a position that's mate in one...if you're interested in learning how to create these unique positions, that make your opponent lol, carefully study my games. After studying all my games you will have a respectable repertoire of hilarious blunders guaranteed to amuse your opponent

and a good spidy sence...

you will always see when a move leads to a mate in 3 max

I once had three games in one day vs different opponents that followed the exact same move order:

They always castle into mate 

You know you're a bad chess player when you consider the Parham the best possible move for white.

You know ur a bad chess player when u completely know what the Parham is.

It has been spammed all over Chess.com. You would have to be blind not to know it by now.

I am getting glasses soon ;) 20/80 20/80 just had a test, lenses are amazing! I want to be an optometrist or opthemalogist now!

I thought it's 20/50 20/50.

I am 20/80 right now but 20/20 with glasses

20/500-600 in each eye. I have you all beat by a mile. and yet I still find a way to pole vault

and I am only 17

I know someone who is 20/600 20/800

that sucks still they can't beat the age though.

When your're better known on Chess.com for your trolling tactics than your chess tactics...

Nope they are 3x older than you