the never ending chess story

he slipped on a branch and crawled to the ranch with a bone , and he spit it out with a groan.

My girlfriend was furious and stomped outside to see all the fuss.

her hair a mess from all the distress, demanding to know why he make such a clatter.

Apparently, his hemorrhoids had blown out and he kept tripping over them in the dark. Like they say, it's better to light a candle than curse about your hemmies!

and they went clatter, clatter, clatter all the way home.

He regretted ever after having eaten all those machine parts.

Ah, the machine. It lay abandoned, disjointed, discarded. It's parts missing. What future could it have?

A prawn is the sole of cheese, after dinner you will discover the check.

And someone else heard this, and prevented it by moving his king over to the side, and it instead said,

"A pawn is the king of the feast, and after this break you will checkmate him"

And he was furious after checkmate.

---NOT IN STORY BELOW---

Someone else heard the discovered check.

 there are a lot of rhymes

And they all lived happily ever after, until.....

someone farted

it rose in the air and surrounded the gas lights.

The gas exploded...

and landed on the people who won the imaginary chess game and found out it was just a dream.

1. e4

"What's an E for?" he asked.

but the eggs were actually golf balls.

So he wondered what the golfers were teeing up with! Spat!

haha

But the eggs were too close to hatching and when they were teed up in the hot sun, they cracked open before the could be driven down the fairway.