Chess Jokes!!!

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Avatar of Somdat

Hey guys lets post some chess jokes!!!

Here is one of my favorites:

Savielly Tartakover: It's always better to sacrifice your opponent's men.

Share yours!!

 

Allons-y!

Avatar of Puchiko

My personal favourite is:

Interviewer: Do you prefer sex or chess?

Boris Spassky: It depends on the position.

Avatar of Kingpatzer

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."

Avatar of Ben_Dubuque

A sacrifice is best refuted by accepting it

Avatar of dashkee94

Can you buy a chess set in a pawn shop?

Avatar of shoopi
daw55124 wrote:

A chess master died - after a few days, a friend of his heard a voice; it was him!
"What's it like, where you are now," he asked.
"What do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news."
"Tell me the good news first."
"Well, it's really heaven here. There are tournaments and blitz sessions going on all the time and Morphy, Alekhine, Lasker, Tal, Capablanca, Botvinnik, they're all here, and you can play them."
"Fantastic!" the friend said, "and what is the bad news?"
"You have Black against Capablanca on Saturday."


 Hahaha, good one Laughing

Avatar of Somdat
Gizmodeus wrote:

 


haha

Avatar of karangtarunasemarang

Avatar of Puchiko

In 1972 a group of Soviet gulag prisoners listened to the first five games of the Fischer-Spassky world championship match on a smuggled radio.   At that point the match was tied at 2.5 points each, and just before game 6 the prison guards discovered the radio, confiscating it before the hapless prisoners could learn the outcome of the match.

Some two weeks later, a new prisoner arrived in the camp.  Eagerly crowding around the newcomer, the prisoners pressed him for the final results of the match, whereupon he sadly replied, “I lost.”

From: Kurtgodden's blogpost: Chess Jokes: Practical and otherwise

Avatar of madhacker

A group of prisoners in a gulag are trying to follow the Spassky-Fischer match. This is almost impossible because they have no access to TV or radio, so are relying on any soundbites they can pick up on.

One day, a new prisoner arrives at the camp, battered and bruised, but looking strangely familiar to everyone. Immediately they jump on him and ask "Quick, what was the score?"

He replies, "I lost."

EDIT: Haha whoops sorry, looks like we both posted that at the same time!

Avatar of madhacker

Avatar of Puchiko
madhacker wrote:

A group of prisoners in a gulag are trying to follow the Spassky-Fischer match. This is almost impossible because they have no access to TV or radio, so are relying on any soundbites they can pick up on.

One day, a new prisoner arrives at the camp, battered and bruised, but looking strangely familiar to everyone. Immediately they jump on him and ask "Quick, what was the score?"

He replies, "I lost."

EDIT: Haha whoops sorry, looks like we both posted that at the same time!


lol, how appropriate for such a thread.

Avatar of JCarter1

A few I like...

Avatar of dylan2009

lol awesome stuff here

Avatar of hankas

A repost from another article: Capablanca vs the Martian. I always thought that whoever comes up with this story is very creative.

http://blog.chess.com/ArielIgnacioDomingue/the-legend-of-capablanca-and-the-martian

Avatar of shepi13

b2 or not b2, that is the question:

I saw that on another thread, really stuck with me.

Avatar of mapearson1990

Can't remember where I first saw this but found it funny.

Avatar of man-hattan

jaja simplistic, but i found it funny

Avatar of Argonaut13

This isnt really funny compared to the others but I'll share it anyway I:

Q:What are the queens' favorite days?

A:Their "knight" out.

Avatar of shreyas_sathe

found dis in another thread..........Smile