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Chess.com exclusive chess movie parodies
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Jun 5, 2014
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#3
If it´s the (Sicilian) Dragon, I would have expected to see Al Pacino and some italian-american gangaster against a a group of kung-fu masters, the leader of the kung-fu clan is an american, and is going to the US to search for his chess player brother (they are twins, and they were separated when the war started).
SocialPanda wrote:
If it´s the (Sicilian) Dragon, I would have expected to see Al Pacino and some italian-american gangaster against a a group of kung-fu masters, the leader of the kung-fu clan is an american, and is going to the US to search for his chess player brother (they are twins, and they were separated when the war started).
lol. I'd see it.
The Danish Gambit: a group of ex-Navy-Seal pastry chefs robs a Vegas casino and escapes in a trio of Fiat 500s. The breakfast delivery break-in works flawlessly, but later the caper almost fails when a souffle falls at a critical moment...
The Marshall Attack: Penny Marshall eats a radioactive mochi, grows to 50-ft tall, and runs amok in Tokyo. In a tearjerker ending, Gary Marshall is forced to shoot his own daughter with a bazooka...
You guys really have a talent for these. Beautiful.
dashkee94 wrote:
There have been some recent threads about new Fischer movies, and I was thinking that we here at "the com" could do Hollywood a favor and show them what a movie about Fischer could be. Properly thanking to trysts for the squirrel suggestion, we could name him Zig-Zag (product placement is key to big budgets) and he's the alter-ego to Bobby the Nut (for the Planter's endorsement).
The first movie would cover the years from when Nut was a little acorn growing to the mighty oak (ends at 1971). Zig-Zag Sparks a Life (subtitle: an oak is just a nut that got away) would have (partial cast, open to suggestions): PeeWee Herman as young Bobby, Stephen Wright as young Zig-Zag, Fran Drescher as young Regina, Madonna as young Joan, Gilbert Godfrey as young Paul Nemenyi, Don Rickles as young Jack Collins, and Cara Wakelin as Barbra Streisand. What do you think? All we need are a couple of scenes and we have the first movie.
In light of the upcoming Fischer movie, we should gather and present our own ideas for a parody movie. Then maybe we can piece our ideas into a story.
We already have some material from the other thread:
If it comes out in October it can be the new Freddy Krueger Returns movie, Bobby Fischer returns and haunts the chess halls. A promo follows showing him where the next Carlsen Anand match will be held.
Owen WIlson as Bobby Fischer and Gwyneth Paltrow as Boris Spassky.
I personally would like to see Enter the (Sicilian) Dragon, replete with copious amounts of martial arts, preferably between Sicily's defending kung-fu champion and an aggressive attacker from the former Yugoslavia.
How about Tom Cruise as Bobby and they get Dolph Lundgrun (not sure about the spelling - the bloke who played "Ivan Drago", the bad guy in Rocky IV) as Spassky. Let's also have Mr T as a street hustler player.
And the first game should end with Spassky announcing "Checkmate, puny American!", and Fischer looking all shocked and surprised.
It's also important that they get the board the wrong way round in most scenes (I believe it's compulsory to get the board the wrong way round whenever chess appears on telly anyway, only explanation for how often they get this wrong)
And this chess movie may even have a James Bond car chase scene, with Euwe chasing Fischer to the airport. That would be awesome!
Sigh......Toby Maguire. What were they thinking? They could've just picked Steve Urkel, it would've made just as much sense.
Kissenger played by Ben Stein
"Get your behind on that plane Bobster."