Dealing with losing

You are better than me then. I used to have an outrageous ego. I've quelled it a bit, but I'm still kinda a jerk... I just keep it to myself a lot better. I've just channeled all my energy towards improving, instead of getting so mad at myself. I do enjoy the game a lot more now than I used to. I understand that I am just a silly mediocre human who is prone to error of thought. The fire does still rage in my belly to annihilate every single one of my opponents... I'm just a lot more civil now

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try' ". - Homer Simpson

I keep a sponge ball handy because I can throw it as hard as I want at my bookcase, and the only damage is a few books pushed in an inch or two. One loss doesn't often affect me much. A 200 point rating drop after losing a dozen blitz games in two hours, on the other hand, brings out the deep rage that makes me want to break things, hence a sponge ball.

If you play chess, learn to lose. Everyone loses.

That kind of anger sounds scary and very unhealthy. I don't think chess, or even losing, is the issue. If anything, online chess is a safe place to get angry and monitors are relatively harmless things to punch (you may have broken your hand, but at least you aren't sitting in jail with a broken hand.) You can stop playing chess or somehow find a way to control your anger at losing... but my hunch is the toxic anger will find some other way to emerge.  The anger is the problem, not chess or losing. 

I'm not a doctor, but it pretty clearly sounds like you have a problem that should be taken seriously. Good luck. I know tackling these kinds of knots where one's own personality and relationship with one's own emotions are all balled up is truly difficult.  The upside is that you might be able to make big positive changes in your life.

"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation. "

------Plato-----

Plato was a golfer?

I've played ALOT of online poker in the last 5 or 6 years, and believe me, I feel your pain.  I've gone through about a dozen wireless mouses, and 2 laptops.  You can always buy more equipment, but not body parts.  lol.

In response to post #24.

ROFLMAO

chess is the most patiently game (tell or say that am wrong with my spelling (((patiently)))) i mean calm down this is the game of mind or skill if u always not calm down or agrresively u lose    do you  know that drop of rain can make a hole to a black stone 

A lot of the time I find myself caught up in the failures I've experienced and feel as though I should somehow have done better, even when I play people rated much higher than I, or have reason to suspect cheating.

One of the things I try to remind myself of is the set of successes I've acheived. I think that recognizing an anger problem and accepting its existence is a remarkable feat; it takes a lot of sense to override the impulse to block out your problems to yourself. There is a lot to be proud of if you are willing to make a real attempt to change yourself for the better.

Also, in the heat of the moment, I try to keep things in perspective. Even if you were to lose every game, there are more important things in your life, and in the world; enough that chess becomes irrelevant. In the end, however, getting upset doesn't accomplish anything (it barely even helps make you feel better about the game, p.s. vigorous exercise generally tires me and distracts me when I feel particularly angry), but ultimately, you can only control your own actions in the present and future, not others' and not what has already come to pass. I wish you the best luck in overcoming your anger to be able to enjoy chess, and the rest of life.

Well Before you  quit can you Play me so I can get some point for my rating

I try to use losing or failure as a motivator to practice harder and get better. It is much more healthy than getting angry about it . 

I like this guy! 

I say, "Show me someone who can lose with a smile, and I'll show you a loser!"

Anyone who hates to lose that much has the makings a good chess player.  Greenbean, if you will send me a message, I will help you with your game for free (and I know how to do it, too).

Start winning more games, and let the other guy figure out how to deal with the anger!

Anger management classes - look into them... Seriously.

!!

Control the rage: throw something unbreakable at a shelf of chess books, and read the book it hits.

thanks, just popped into my head one day..

point is.. losing is all part of your study of chess, if you don't lose any games you'll never be able to improve and life will be boring, failures are all part of life so try to take advantage of them.. they're not going anywhere any time soon..

Nimzovich, I believe it was, said that a winner in a chess game is the next to the last person to make a mistake.......losses come hard to those that seriously pursue chess...often to the point of flying into rages, or even yet getting angry at the clown who beat you......especially if he's rated 300-500 points lower than you...it has happend to all who do battle on 64 squares...yes it is a battle....next time instead of hitting a computer monitor go knock the hell out of an oak tree and REALLY see who wins..........screw it......challenge 'em to a rematch and whip some ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is  short

i agree with this

Wreck your pillow, shout to the heavens... That's how I deal with it.

ADK