Fair Playing

  • #1

    I have only farted once at the board but I am now banned from playing in my local chess club for infringing their fair play policy. I demand your sympathy and/or judgment.

  • #2

    Hand out boxes of chocolate next visit, I predict you'll be forgiven.

    sftac

  • #3
    ivandh wrote:

    I have only farted once at the board but I am now banned from playing in my local chess club for infringing their fair play policy. I demand your sympathy and/or judgment.


    Next time, I recommend loading up on beef and bean burritos, refried beans, onion rings, and broccoli with cheese sauce before you attend. I'm sure you'll be welcomed back with open arms.

  • #4

    I can't believe they were so lenient in punishing your savage crime. You attacked their olfactory system in a very sinister manner. Assaulting the nose is no small thing. Its where the exterior world meets the interior of your body and its an orifice that can't be easily closed. I would have informed the proper authorities. Proper justice needs to be administered and I'm not sure your local club has the judgment to issue that firm justice.

  • #5

    You should be banned for not being wise enough to restrain yourself into a silent but deadly, and be the first to say, "Oh, dude, that's nasty!" to divert attention.

    I bet you are a riot in elevators.

  • #6

    What opening did you fart during?  Perhaps it can be renamed in your honor, like "Ruy Lopez, fart defense deferred" or what not.

  • #7

    sounds like your local chess club stinks-well after your visit anyway! its strange how farting always brings smiles- I love a good guff

  • #8
    GargleBlaster wrote:

    What opening did you fart during?  Perhaps it can be renamed in your honor, like "Ruy Lopez, fart defense deferred" or what not.


    This one was definitely an attack.

  • #9

    In this case I must sympathize with the OP. In my case I've often been accused of being a walking Natural Gas bag ( & old Windbag some people have added ). If they grant you a hearing perhaps you could claim it was a " involuntary pressure release caused by a internal reaction due to the processing of nourishment material within your body ". Perhaps also quoting from a Medical textbooks stating that the human body needs frequent nourishment might be helpful, good luck.   

  • #10
    ivandh wrote:

    I have only farted once at the board but I am now banned from playing in my local chess club for infringing their fair play policy. I demand your sympathy and/or judgment.


    I'd say it makes a difference whether it was a sloppy fart or a nice clean crisp one.

  • #11

    dudes!  at my local club there's an old timer who farts A LOT.  it's great.  people say stuff about it sometimes and he just keeps farting.  plus he mumbles and swears to himself.  it's exactly as it should be.  by the way, who's the fake kraut?

  • #12

    Any time someone racks off a good one in a public place all the men (and half the women) in the room think to themselves "I wish I'd done that."

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