As a beginner, I used to grind chess relentlessly. I played about 5-8 games everyday regardless of result and actually enjoyed the ride. Now though... I find myself actually being scared to play as much rated chess games as I used to. I just usually play against bots (which isn't exactly beneficial) and unrated (where I find myself or/and my opponent not taking the game as serious). I am just locked with this awful mindset: (You worked hard to get those points. You wanna risk giving them away?) I don't want to have this kind of fear looming over me forever and hindering my progress, so I ask of any similar experiences that you could share and some tips I can apply to try and overcome my fear.
That rating youre so worried about? It is nothing more than an estimate of your last performance. So of course it is going to go up and down. You dont think that you actually lost 50 pints of chess ability do you? Or you suddenly gained 50 points of chess wisdom?
Rating doesn't matter, unless you convince yourself that it matters. What truly matters is that you have great enjoyment, great love for this crazy, mysterious game. It is the enjoyment, the music, the poetry of the game... even the ephemeral 5 minute or 10 minute dance is as interesting as the great symphony that can be composed in a cc or daily game. You want a high rating because you want recognition, edification, the self adulation of being exceptional. That is another amazing thing about chess. It taps into our deep qualities. If you're an egotistical person, it shows. If you're an artist you can see it. If you're a coward, then that shows too. If you're a genius, then that shows. But is dancing only for geniuses? Is music only for Beethoven and Mozart. If you can play some music reasonably well, and enjoy it immensely, appreciate it immensely, should you be frustrated because you don't approach the level of a Bach or a Beethoven, or even some less talented masters? I say forget about ratings. That is my way. See and appreciate the possibilities and richness and music of the game. Ponder the mysteries. Marvel at the depths and simplicity also. Creativity is a quality you bring to the activity, no matter your skill. Don't torture yourself. Enjoy yourself!
I'll try to keep that in mind. Thx