I never studied chess for last 3 years and I am happy. I used to study chess before but I felt like a fool when I miss those things in play. Practising tactics was worst scenario of that.
I am taking a big break from studying chess
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I started seriously studying since the beginning of the pandemic, I spent day and night studying, playing, analyzing. It might not be a super high rating, but I eventually got to 2000 rating here. My whole life has revolved around this game for the last 3 years. I'm currently 19 years old and I gotta say, i'm exhausted of studying this game. Don't get me wrong, I understand and see the beauty is chess, in its culture, it's people, how it's grown so much. However, it often brings out the worst side of me, my ego, my anger, my anxiety. Plus, it's really difficult and confusing to actually improve, what do i do? what do i train?. I live in a country where chess culture is not that prevalent, where tournaments happen every 6 months or so. So it's not really like chess has actually improved my social life or helped me find friends. I still love this game, but i've decided it was enough. I'll come back to it when I think i can actually take it as just a game, a hobby. I'll come back to playing it when I've grown as a person. But for now, I'll finally get rid off the burden of thinking that i gotta be always studying and improving at chess. I'll enjoy life a little bit more.