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i can't escape chess but i must!

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ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#1

i've pretty much had enough.  chess is ruining my life and my marriage.  chess is my mysterious mistress.  i'm plunging deeper and deeper into her abyss.  i come home and my children stare into my face listlessly -- who is this man? they seem to be saying.  who is this man?  all i can think about are pawns and queens and pawns capturing queens and queens capturing queens and pawns passing pawns and pawns penetrating back lines over and over and over....  i need my life back.  i need more love in my life.  i need the embrace of a real queen.  help me work through this.  how do i quit?  can i quit?  will my wife ever love me again?  is quiting the right thing to do?  damn you chess!  save me!

Conquistador
Conquistador
May 14, 2013
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#2

Pawns penetrating back ranks...I get it.

bigpoison
bigpoison
May 14, 2013
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#3

Quit being such a nancy.  Chess keeps you from spending all your time at ball games and such.  Just think, without chess, you'd be in even better shape.

Do you really want that? 

ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#4

i want to love again!

bigpoison
bigpoison
May 14, 2013
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#5

Love is a wasted emotion.

ViktorHNielsen
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May 14, 2013
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#6

You could do 2 things.

1: Cut the line fast. Unsubscribe to all your chess wepsites, you chess club(s), everything, put all chess things away, begin another hobby (fishing is fun). It's very difficult, but just stop playing chess. Some people can't do this.

 

2: Stop slowly. If you are in alot of tournaments, stop accepting new ones. Only go to your chess club when very necessary (for example, stop club tournaments, but continiue in team chess). Start playing some other games than chess, and put your chess library away.

ilikeflags
ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#7
bigpoison wrote:

Love is a wasted emotion.

this feels true in the summer months.

ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#8
ViktorHNielsen wrote:

You could do 2 things.

1: Cut the line fast. Unsubscribe to all your chess wepsites, you chess club(s), everything, put all chess things away, begin another hobby (fishing is fun). It's very difficult, but just stop playing chess. Some people can't do this.

 

2: Stop slowly. If you are in alot of tournaments, stop accepting new ones. Only go to your chess club when very necessary (for example, stop club tournaments, but continiue in team chess). Start playing some other games than chess, and put your chess library away.

some good advice here.  has anyone ever tried it?  it's like baking bread or tearing of a plaster...  i can almost feel my wife's skin against my own again...

Mandy711
Mandy711
May 14, 2013
0
#9

Quit chess. You don't have friends here. Just rivals wanting to beat you badly. Spend time with your wife and kids. 

smiles516
smiles516
May 14, 2013
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#10

At the end of their life, nobody ever looks back and wishes they had spent more time at the office, played more chess, wasted more time online, etc.  Life is about loving and being loved, enjoy the relationships you have Smile

bigpoison
bigpoison
May 14, 2013
0
#11

Relationships are overrated.  People always want you to help them out and shit.

I say, sever all relationships with real people and just play chess against a machine.  That's what life is about!

ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#12

i keep sneaking into the loo with my laptop.  my wife probably thinks i'm on one of those "cheat with your wife" websites everyone loves so much.  but i'm playing chess!  i can't stop reviewing tactics!  i wish i could hold my children again.

ElKitch
ElKitch
May 14, 2013
0
#13

3: approach it as a game addiction. I am not saying that you are addicted, but you can go to an addiction treatment center (find one that is familiar with gaming addiction) and they can make an assessment. For some this is a difficult step, but really there's not much to lose. Who knows they'll send you off :) And if you are you better know early.

This is from the DSM IV and focusses on drugs and addiction. Try it with "chess" and you'll get results too. 

DSM-IV Substance Abuse Criteria
 
Substance abuse is defined as a maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress as manifested by one (or more) of the following, occurring within a 12-month period:
 

  1. 1.   Recurrent substance use resulting in a failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, or home (such as repeated absences or poor work performance related to substance use; substance-related absences, suspensions, or expulsions from school; or neglect of children or household).
  2. 2.    Recurrent substance use in situations in which it is physically hazardous (such as driving an automobile or operating a machine when impaired by substance use)
  3. 3.    Recurrent substance-related legal problems (such as arrests for substance related disorderly conduct)
  4. 4.    Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurrent social or interpersonal problems caused or exacerbated by the effects of the substance (for example, arguments with spouse about consequences of intoxication and physical fights).
     
Note: The symptoms for abuse have never met the criteria for dependence for this class of substance. According to the DSM-IV, a person can be abusing a substance or dependent on a substance but not both at the same time. 


DSM-IV Substance Dependence Criteria

Substance dependence is defined as a maladaptive pattern of substance use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress, as manifested by three (or more) of the following, occurring any time in the same 12-month period: 


  1. 1.    Tolerance, as defined by either of the following: (a) A need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve intoxication or the desired effect or (b) Markedly diminished effect with continued use of the same amount of the substance.
  2. 2.    Withdrawal, as manifested by either of the following: (a) The characteristic withdrawal syndrome for the substance or (b) The same (or closely related) substance is taken to relieve or avoid withdrawal symptoms.
  3. 3.    The substance is often taken in larger amounts or over a longer period than intended.
  4. 4.    There is a persistent desire or unsuccessful efforts to cut down or control substance use.
  5. 5.    A great deal of time is spent in activities necessary to obtain the substance, use the substance, or recover from its effects.
  6. 6.   Important social, occupational, or recreational activities are given up or reduced because of substance use.
  7. 7.    The substance use is continued despite knowledge of having a persistent physical or psychological problem that is likely to have been caused or exacerbated by the substance (for example, current cocaine use despite recognition of cocaine-induced depression or continued drinking despite recognition that an ulcer was made worse by alcohol consumption).

     
American Psychiatric Association. 1994. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV. Washington D.C.: American Psychiatric Association. (pp. 181-183) 
netzach
netzach
May 14, 2013
0
#14

Hide in a wardrobe for a while and mutter incessantly? (works for me)

bigpoison
bigpoison
May 14, 2013
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#15

ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#16

but if it's good for me, and i know chess raises my iq, then i shouldn't have to stop.  plus i make money and i love the donuts.

needspraxis
needspraxis
May 14, 2013
0
#17

Teach her to play chess. Good to go.

ilikeflags
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May 14, 2013
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#18

bro, you're asking me to mix my family with my chess.  cop on.

needspraxis
needspraxis
May 14, 2013
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#19

AND Let her win, unrated.

Shivsky
Shivsky
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May 14, 2013
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#20

This is a great time to become a super-villian as the mind-set / origin story is already in place.

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