The English player P.H. Clarke used to tell of how he once beat Keres in two consecutive offhand games,before adding"...of course,we were playing table-tennis..."
I drew a guy who beat a guy who drew a game with Karpov in a simult

I actually did play quite a bit of chess with a guy who took lessons from Sammy Reshevsky. And Sammy beat Emmanuel Lasker, who beat Steinitz, who was the first World Champion. So I'm practically a world Champion myself.
And I once played George Kramer, in the 1979 US Open (and managed to draw)...and he played Reshevsky (and Fischer!). So I figure Spassky owes me some bigtime rating points.
In OTB tournament games my lifetime score against masters is 1 win, about 6 draws, and probably at least 25 losses. Does this make me a patzer?