I have a problem

 For the past half a year I've been studying chess, nothing very serious but I've played over 100 000 tactics.. I haveplayed  over 50k puzzles just on puzzle rush..Seen lots of video broadcasts both on twitch and here.. And YouTube.. I know my game is very strong (made a draw with an IM in a simul) I know it's just a simul, but he was a master. The problem is am too afraid to test my skills.. I have over 2100 in tactics and 26 in puzzle rush.. The only time I man up to play is when am drunk, even then I win more games than I lose..  I've talked with a chess coach and he told me I need longer games to be able to achieve my true rating. That's not really an option, I don't have  ample time to be able to play classic chess. 

My question is, how do I get over the feeling of losing and just play when I am sober, just like the way I do when am drunk.. Thank you. 

I'm having this feeling too, im too afraid of losing. Even right now. Playing the computer is a way out of it. But still, that doesnt kill the fear of playing others. I'm putting this on follow.

Maybe playing someone closely related to you, and who's a bit stronger, that helped me get over the fear temporarily. I practiced games like this with him, and he told me that im very underrated. Playing chess anonymously might be another way too.

Thanks Acci, but I beat all my friends and we don't have a club in my little town..

Internet close friends works!

I notice that the more social i become with friends, the less this fear strikes me.

My solution is to not take the game too seriously, even if its a marvelous game. Play for fun,  give free queen by mistake and have a good laugh. Set a mate cause of a mousedrop. Play bad, but give the opponent an eloge for winning (but often they leave the chat and play next before one know what happens) 

I do play internet friend like you MainframeSupertasker, but more often than not, it's just for fun . I want to get my ratings higher . Maybe play the computer, but the computer makes deliberate mistakes whichiI don't like.. 

MysticalGrob That's the whole problem, I cannot take it unserious hence why I Don't/can't play.. 

I really do wanna play without giving a shit, but I can't .  Thanks for the advice. Much appreciated

Hi Rasta. I totally agree with the other swed. If you lose game, well then you've lost ONE game. Start a new one and play again. If it's over the board, well then just play another one. Loosing sucks, but it's just one of thousands chess games you will play in your life and NO ONE can win every game. Not even lc0. Loosing games is a big part of chess. 

Play daily games if you want slower games. and don't worry about your rating. 

The computers teach you to be more accurate, and its like finding tactics among their mistakes... and im pretty sure they have really stable ratings.

dazed-smygarn I tell myself the same thing, the issue is that I cannot, maybe am too pussy. 

Typewriter44 I have tried daily games, I've timed out in all the games.. because am not always on chess.com

 Thanks all.. I thought my chess.com  friends were superficial, but you guys are the best..

-Jay

MainframeSupertasker I know the computers are good at punishing you when you make a tactical mistake, but they make blunders that humans of the same caliber don't, like not recapturing a piece and hence losing the game a as a result of it..

I hate losing too, but I realize you can't beat me without teaching me something.....that is how I look at it.

 That's a pessimist way of looking at it, you never lose when you've learnt something.. 

I think I'll just start playing right away and if all hell breaks lose I'll blame it on you guys.. Since I've already drunk some beers already it wouldn't be much of an ordeal.

hello forum, do not reply just want the achievement for forum talking.

1. What do you suggest?

 2. Am good at basics, just that haven't played with my peers to prove that

 3. Am more macho than most normal guys.. I haves  black belt, so don't afraid of people per se

4. I know, on the other hand I only drink 2 or 3 times a week.

 5. Now you are getting to the point. it's just that, I hate losing more than winning

 6. Not many to choose among

 7. I dont have time to play a game for half a year? how will that help me? I understand that classic helps, but come on? daily? 3 days for one move or a day for a move? when is it gonna end? I've timed out on all my tries because am not here everyday.

 8. 30.. I just wanna improve, don't wanna be master or stuff like that. I don't have time for that  Already have a stable life, this is just a hobby.

If you are afraid of losing, Just completely ignore the result and your rating. This will make you much more comfortable

fear is never in the present, you are thinking of past losses continuing and projecting into the future. learn to be present and tell your head to stfu.

You could try staying drunk all the time.