I have offically given up on life.

Are you paying for chess insurance?

There are Worse things, than being, fixated on 'chess'.. as the 'op' initially described. - Ie. Serving, out a '15 year' sentence.. As, a 22 yr. old 'American' college student, in a 'North Korean' labor camp.. {as one foolish 'dude' is now doing}.

Eg., He got 'caught' on 'cctv' ..{'closed circuit'}, ripping down, a 'propaganda' banner.. to bring back, to 'America' as a 'souvenier- booty'.. And was forcibly removed from the 'plane' that was his departing 'flight' out.. About, 16 mos. ago. {True}

What an incentive, to start learning 'Korean' though! ..LOL

As an older person, please consider my advice.

Enjoy the game. Get as good as you can. Join the local Chess club in your city and learn as much as you can.

I hope you discover the beauty of chess.

With that being said, find a way to make good money in your life. Make as much money as you can. Get rich. In fact, try to become a millionaire. Be successful in your business adventures and life.

Like many before you, at some point you're likely to discover that making money was a far better idea than being good at Chess.

I wouldn't have the courage to post that. TBH: me too. I'm supposed to be preparing for college in June, applying for jobs, grants, other forms of debt... I play chess even when I start to frustrate (causing my rating to plummet)...then sleep... And occasionally I lurk around the forums lol.

True, but I did not say that money is all you need. Belive me; there's a lot of strong Chess players out there who have spent years working on this game only to realize that it doesn't pay the bills.

why don't you ask the average person living in the slums of India whether or not money would make them happy lmao. Unless you have a physical disability that makes you depressed or gives you physical pain. Money will make you happier. Certainly it will help alleviate your sadness. 

Money doesnt make, or bring you happiness.  Money brings you opportunities.   Its up to you what you do with those opportunities.

I get how you feel.  I two lost my job, couldn't hack it in school, and couldn't hack it with women.  It sucks.  Life sometimes sucks.  But professional growth, women, and chess are three totally different things to do and giving up two to do only 1 is a bad idea because you will spend all your time on chess and become a recluse.  I know you've been told this before and will not listen if one other person tells you the same thing.  All I can say is picture your life in 10 years?  Will you be a GM?  I do not know, but, it's very doubtful that you will ever acheive the GM title, especially late in life.  I do not know how old you are, but if you ask me, your odds are better with women.  I know you might not like that idea, as you've problem gone though much pain with women.  I am actually thinking of saying the same thing to myself. Screw it all, and not bother to ever get a girl in my life.  But all of us have sexual desires.  The longer you spend without sex, the more fantasies you will develop, and the more time you will spend in la la land then in chess.  If you curb your sexual desires with porn, it'll only become worse, as you will start to develop the urge to "control women," and thus, end up being a serial killer, possibly.  

You could settle for someone ugly or far less attractive than yourself, however, most men arn't really satistified with women that are less attractive than they are, as we tend to want women with looks.  I'm left to guess that you fall into this category, which I have to say welcome to the club, but at the same time, wake you up to the horror that it won't get better if you ignore this problem, and like I said, the sexual fantasies will only get more numerous, and porn doesn't help, just makes the fantasies worse.  We where created as sexual beings.  It's only natural to want to have sex.  If you suppress it you will suffer the consequences.  I gather in 10 years you will really regret not trying to find a women.  

That being said, don't let chess be a substitute for a relationship with a women, or life happiness, because in the end, you will probably never make that much money at it, and will probably end up in a worse position than you are in currently, and it will be a lot easier to pull the trigger with you idea of suicide.

Don't let the past dictate how your shape your future.  Anyone can change, it's just a matter of putting forth the effort, and seeking the right affordable guidance.  A lot of people I know started out with self improvement by just reading a bunch of self help books they could find in their local book store.  I suggest you do the same, as I am going back to the ones I never read, as I am in your same position.

    The HS Distance Revolution Begins Here. 1995. Cailifornia. A junior from Jesuit makes a statement that will be heard around the country. HS runners will see that in order to be great you need to do great things. This is greatness. This is the kick that started the revolution.

After reading this topic, I've now officially given up on humanity.

Just kidding. 

Those who feel similarly, to this 'posted' thread's 'pov'.. Might like, "Andrew Hale's", 'LAHWF'.. {"losing-all-hope-was-my-freedom"}, "YouTube" channel.

Not, necessarily 'faithful' to his avowed, 'titled' statement, of belief - But, he Does 'come across' as a 'Happy-Go-Lucky'..{if partially confused}, guy!

I disagree.  Money itself may or may not make someone happy. Only each individual can decide that. Long hair, short grass, tall trees, and cloudy skies may make some people happy. Other people dont get to decide what makes someone happy. I'll bet there are plenty of people, who in fact, are happy having a lot of money. For me personally, having a lot of money doesn't make me happy. Which is why it makes more sense to trade the money for a nice truck, a boat, a nice house, and time at the lake. Those things DO make me happy.

I'd rather be rich and depressed than sad and depressed.

rich + depressed
VVVVV
slightly less rich + box of donuts + depressed
VVVVV
slightly less rich + slightly empty box of donuts + slightly les depressed

Mate, write a novel. A really good one.