I want this new exciting time control

I think Chess.com should consider having a time controls like 2-1. Unlike 2+1, this means that every time you make a move, you will lose 1 second on your clock. If you make a move with less than 1 second left, then you will instantly time out when your opponent makes a move. 

I think this format would be very interesting. 

sounds scintillating

stupid. even with moving quickly 50 moves would be the max

That's the point. We would have a very quick, decisive result. No flagging for 50 moves.

maybe lose the a half second per move. anything more is not viable

No. It's stupid.

it's nice, do it

You should also be able to, instead of making a move, sacrifice one of your pieces to remove time from your opponent's clock.  One second for a pawn, three for a knight or bishop, five for a rook, nine for a queen.

More to the point, is your pic Murr from impractical jokers?

What about a time control like 2+0+0.1 (add 0+0.1*moves to clock each move)

But we don't want the time to grow insanely fast... maybe keep the new parameter low.

The resemblance is uncanny, I admit - but it's actually Artem Lobov.

Ignore this guy he's just salty that he keeps getting flagged. Even with this time control you would still get flagged btw, remember that no matter how slow you move you would still be effected by the odd rule just as much as your opponent.