I was sent a scathing message for my etiquette? What did I do?

First and foremost, I'm happy to be on the site and I look forward to just read and learn about the game. I stopped playing many years ago and I was a very good player but now I have to come back and re-gather my style of play. You never forget but I'm rusty.

Let me cut to the chase, I was playing earlier today. It was a good match. I made an open room and was waiting for an opponent. My opponent came in and greeted me by saying "Hello". I didn't respond and made my move. My opponent made his (only assuming he's male) move and responded by saying "Hi, how are you?" Again, I didn't acknowledge him as I never acknowledge my opponent. I just want to play.

We played and I eventually won then I immediately left the room. He sent me a message telling me that he didn't appreciate me being rude and that I need to "grow up". Amongst other slights to my character. Why was it so important to him that I "greeted" him? How was I being a bad sport, I didn't insult him or speak to him in a negative light. I just didn't say anything at all? Is it a crime that I didn't say anything? I don't know I was just perplexed by how sensitive he is considering how hard he took it.

Thanks for bearing with me.

Sometimes saying nothing at all speaks volumes.  Like the silent treatment.

Why was it so difficult to just type "Hi" into the chat box? Not saying you're obliged to do so, but in my opinion, you probably wouldn't just ignore your opponent if you were playing OTB, so why ignore him over the internet? It's just basic courtesy in my opinion. Of course it seems he took it harder than he should. There are plenty of bigger deals.

Mm, tasty. 

just a sore loser dont worry about it eat some waffles

Agree with waller, some people have no manners.

It's hardly a big effort on your part to say hi.

@ KingKraven,

yes, some do choose not to respond when greeted, and as you have stated, it is no crime,

then again, if you do prefer a non-responsive environment, you should not be troubled by a scathing message, as obviously, no response is required

the same non-responsive environment you chose when you were greeted, since it did not bother you then, it should not bother you now

no,it's not a crime to not respond.but why have the chat enabled at all if u never respond?doesn't make sense.

@waller I wouldn't respond to the people OTB either except my coach bakc in high school gave me a serious tongue lashing about it. I wouldn't shake hands either. I just didn't, I sat down started to play and I leave. I didn't see anything wrong but as the Captain of the team, he said that I would seriously risk losing the Captaincy because of my "anti-social" behavior. So, I bit the bullet and while I don't talk to them OTB to my opponents unless it's about the gameplay. I will shake hands even though I don't like doing it. Just never have.

@AnnaZafi

I did not respond to him and it's not bothering me but I was just confused about why was he going off over some trivial nonsense to be honest.

@CerebralAssasin

The match wasn't on this site it was on another and I didn't know if you could disable chat. I never thought about it.

@joeydvivre

It may but I just don't understand why it's a necessary thing. I consider myself to be a very polite person but I just don't respond because I just don't. I'm truly not doing to make anyone mad. I'm just staring at the board considering my options and how I will play.

Fair enough, but at the beginning of the game, surely you don't need to be studying the board in much detail. It doesn't change much . And OTB - what would you do then, just act as if they aren't even there? I find it hard to get my head around and surely you can see how simply ignoring someone when they stick out their hand is rude - just because it would be in any situation.

Well, I don't have Asperger's however I also have friends who don't have yet have a similar disposition at the table. When I play my friends (the same one I mentioned), we laugh, joke, drink beverages and eat. We also play video games on few occasions.

@waller In a competitive setting, I looking at the board pretty much spacing out considering my options of how do I want to play this match not necessarily looking at the pieces as they are pretty much stagnant. Shaking hands is overrated as it shows nothing. I also believe that a counterfeit handshake is more disrespectful than none at all. My play at the board and on the internet is the same regarding the handshake. If my opponent offers it then I will take it.

...

if you refused to shake my hand other then an injory, ide flip the table over and cuss you out.

it is considered good-etiquette to '' greet '' your opponent (similar to handshake in other sports)

To follow this or not is up to yourself of course...

If it didn't bother you why post this topic ?

If your chat is enabled, that's a sign that you're willing to chat, at least a bit. It's a bit rude to not at least greet your opponent in that case. IMO, it's not worthy of a scathing note, but, you weren't entirely blameless either.

If you really just don't want to chat with folks on the site ever, that's fine, but, disable your chat. ;)

Scathing?

Wow! talk about thin skin!

Why don't you just disable chat in those case, which you can do at any point in the game, I believe?

@netzach So are you saying I care? I really don't but still it would be nice to know why. So maybe I can find a solution so it won't happen again.

@bigpoison I don't have thin skin (people say I don't care enough and I need to be more receptive to others) but it was quite scathing considering that the note was loded with profanities and I declined to write it all out in this thread because of it.

@reflectivist As I said before, I had no idea that was an option and if I did know I didn't know how to do it. Mind you, I didn't play on this site. It was a different one.