My husband can’t control himself when he starts playing bullet chess. It’s been going on for years. It hurts me badly to feel so alone. He curses when he plays and I can’t talk to him. He once broke his computer by slamming a weight on it after I asked him to stop playing. I wish he would stop or at least be able to control it.
Is chess ruining your life?
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Dec 29, 2017
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#23
Addictive behavior affects many many people. Sounds like you already know you are too far in—affecting Family—and need to pull back. That’s, as the cliche goes, the first step. You could always try to involve your family in chess, hah. A win win. Or lose lose. A shrink told Bobby Fischer’s Mom that there were worse things he could be obsessed with.
Yes its a problem. For instance just before Christmas I turned over in bed and this women I barely knew said "Our children want to know if you are getting them chess sets for Christmas - AGAIN !"
Dec 29, 2017
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#25
Addiction to chess and other hobbies are not as grave as addiction to vices like gambling, drinking, etc. I ask tolerance from spouses and parents.
Dec 29, 2017
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#26
Old chess joke...
Player 1: "Bad news. My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop playing chess."
Player 2: "That's terrible!"
Player 1: "Yes, it is. I will miss her."
I hope one day that you all will find respect for your families. Making excuses that chess is not as bad as other addictions for me means it’s an addiction that someone will not take seriously and fix. Enjoy a lonely life with your computer.
I learned how to play chess about a year and a half ago! and my problem is that I'm completely addicted to getting better day by day practicing everything that I can!! its all a jumbled mess if I could figure out a structure to my learning it wouldn't take so much dang time.. I'm 18 and this game is not ruining my life it is perfect for me. phsycilogically I am a person who seeks achievement. so this game is perfect for me I will be obsessed with it until I become at least 2000 if I'm lucky I will be 2200+ after a year and a half reaching 1700+ I'm super happy with my improvement. if your happy with this game don't give it up
what I mean that its not ruining my life is that I'm not lonely you just have to balance your life around your addiction like me. I'm a collegic athlete working full time and going to school I have a normal/decently busy schedule. chess has very little affect against my life
Being obsessed with something is always bad, of course. To me, chess is only an outlet; especially OTB, it is like I'd come renewed after a game. I try to take it seriously though, but many things come first. Last season, for example, I only played two OTB games. Playing correspondence with better players helps a lot when you have a busy schedule I think.
I completely understand the OP. I have been playing chess on and off for almost fifty years. During that time I have sometimes been intensely interested to the point of near obsession, while at other times I have walked away from it easily. Returning to chess recently, I have adopted a sensible approach. While chess can often feel like a really fulfilling thing to do - even something worth giving up other worthwhile things in order to pursue - it's really not. Unless you are earning a living from it, or destined for real success and recognition, it's just a game. Truly. It is not life. It is not magical. A game is all it is. A beautiful, thought-provoking, intellect-stimulating, absorbing, challenging, deep, historic, iconic, glorious game - but still just a game. So nowadays I play it purely and simply because I enjoy it. If a game is interrupted or spoilt by external factors (also known as life), it doesn't matter. Those problems don't affect anything except my rating, which itself exists only to match me against players of a similar ability, each of whom also must accept less than perfect playing circumstances much of the time. I enjoy chess being a part of my life, but no longer set pointless goals and targets - those just create pressure and stress, and cause irritation at the impact of those other 'life' factors upon them. I do seek to improve, but only because that may enhance my enjoyment of the game, and provide further valuable mental exercise. I embrace both the impact of chess upon my life (but I keep that impact fairly small), and of my life upon chess. Both are important to me, but only one is a game...
I know how it feels, chess is everything to me, sometimes I rather play than going out with friends, not always but is really addictive, I think all you got to do is to teach your wife and your children how to play the game, that way you will be an amazing father and husband and you can pass a great time by playing with them
Dec 30, 2017
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#35
CHESTERDOG....Absolutely perfect!!! I could not have stated it better. -
Aug 1, 2022
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#36
Now that I think about it, I am investing a large portion of my summer vacation into this board game. Now that school's around the corner I am second-guessing my decisions.
Aug 1, 2022
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#37
Although someone is addicted to playing chess, I believe it's not as bad as the complainant says (spouse, parents). As long as he maintain his regular jobs or pass his school subjects, he should be tolerated. Nobody is perfect.
got destroyed life
To me,it's a totally enjoyable hobby.Obviously I want to improve at every aspect,but as long as i continually get a better understanding of the game and can appreciate what better players are doing,in their games,I'm fine!.....There are a few levels to chess,which I like....#1-The artistic elements of a nice set of pieces....#2- The learning and studying,yielding a better understanding/appreciation of the game....#3- The actual competition(even appreciating the better play of my opponent when I lose......often-
)....I should add that I love playing other folks,from different countries.I am not a fan of computer chess.It's like being a runner and going up against a car....Who cares!! I like people and chess players are worthy adversaries.