Jokes

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NobbyCapeTown

We have so much joking around and humour across most, if not all, topics why not have a Jokes forum topic ?? OK, seeing you insist, I start...

A $ 1 bill bumps into a $ 20 bill. Asks the $ 1 bill : "Wow, long time no see, what have you been up to ?" "Well, you know, been on a world cruise, casinos, expensive restaurants, shopping malls etc - What about you ?"

"Same old - church, church, church"

NomadicKnight

......

NobbyCapeTown

What does ..... mean ? This is South Africa, we are not that sophisticated.

Does your message change it's meaning or content if you add or subtract one or more dots ?

rooperi

bean_Fischer

Good post.

NobbyCapeTown

Nomadic Knight rules. Through a connection I managed to have his dots  run through a Nividiam ORNL GTX Titan. This is the most hilarious joke ever. When prompted to respond with a joke at an equivalent level, the Titan came up with <=>

PrivatePyle99

The Saint Louis chess club is having a contest for the best chess joke.  Winner gets an autographed poster from Karpov - Sierawan. I would advise against giving away your jokes for free.  Laughing

NobbyCapeTown

Who am I to argue with the the GTX Titan ? I am presently having a Beijing friend running the Titan's "<=>" through China's Tianhe-1A, and the best answer from China so far is "WTF ?"

macer75

A few weeks ago I found this really great site with offensive jokes. I can't post the link here though, because I don't want to get banned, which would result in an unreparable loss of the chess.com community's intellectual property, since all of my brilliant threads and comments would be deleted.

PrivatePyle99

Hey, got an email from the St. Louis Chess Club, I won the Karpov - Sierawan poster.  Very cool.

The joke I sent: Chuck Norris can be +5 while plaing the first game of a tournament.

NobbyCapeTown

The doctor told Chuck Norris that you will never die of a heart attack. Your heart will never dare to attack you.

NomadicKnight

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch because HE determines what time it is.

NomadicKnight

The true definition of "Pi" is Chuck Norris.

NomadicKnight

Chuck Norris created the phrase "ignorance is bliss" so the rest of us don't have to feel so bad.

NomadicKnight

You win some, you lose some. Chuck Norris wins all.

NomadicKnight

Chuck Norris shattered the four-minute mile before a mile even existed.

NomadicKnight

Most of what glitters is not gold but Chuck Norris.

NomadicKnight

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the heck he wants.

NomadicKnight

Chuck Norris can find the needle in the haystack.

NomadicKnight

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defear a brick wall in a game of tennis.