Mental ill because of chess

"If I play chess when I'm not in a good headspace, and then I lose twice in a row due to my own stupid mistakes, I get extremely stressed, cry, and constantly blame myself. I'll even curse at myself, saying that I am indeed stupid and that chess just isn't for me. It makes me feel like trolling and playing carelessly until I go on a massive losing streak, losing up to 120 Elo in the process. It's not that I'm manipulating my rating—I still play normally, I just don't take it as seriously as my current Elo demands.

But strangely, because of that losing streak and dropping 120 Elo, I actually feel calmer than I did when I only lost those first two games. Is this normal? It sounds ridiculous, like someone who is severely stressed or depressed from self-imposed pressure, looking for validation that they really are stupid. And then actually feeling relieved because the situation validates it through a significant Elo drop and a losing streak that basically says, 'Yes, you are stupid, this is exactly where you belong right now.'"

A break is recommended

It's just an online rating of a board game. It's not so serious

Work on the puzzles and play the bots, nothing wrong with taking a break from playing humans till you feel comfortable again, after a few days you'll get an urge to play again, just work on king safety in rapid you have plenty of time to decide each move no need to rush it, figure out a decent opening and go from there. Good luck you're not stupid

I can definitely relate to this. I am scared to play because I am not satisfied with my performance. I only play unrated against lower rated players. I only play higher rated opponent when I am able to beat these lower rated players with ease, which is not always the case. The joy of improving was gone since I haven’t played as much anymore and mostly focus on the negative thoughts like personal failure - This also affects me in daily life a lot. I have some days where I catch my flow and play great, like 1100+, and then I have bad days where I make many unnecessary mistakes. Actually, I think chess made me overall to a more emotional person. I did improve a lot, but my moves didn’t. And I am still trying to figure a way out of this. I will, however I am not sure how…

So I don’t think I can give you a advice yet, but don’t give up!

Muhazka, you are playing way too many games. 24 rapid games in a row is nonsense. There is no chance that you will have energy and concentration to play meaningfully such amount of games. I usually do not play more than 5 rapid games in a row. Analyse your every game, try to remember your mistakes. Try to calm down before you start next game. There exist some breathing techniques to calm your mind.

Solve puzzles, watch chess videos, study master games. 
Good luck!