Most Useless Chess Advice

When you find a good move, look for a better one.

Like I have that much time--or find any good moves in the first place.

Let the king march to its opponent side alone.

When in doubt, move a pawn.

When in doubt, expose your king.

sneeze your doubt, stamp your feet and release your carbon silently

Always try to use Fried Liver against black, He'll never suspect it!

When in doubt, expose your knee.

It's the thought that counts.

stalemate is a win.

But it really is! >_>

It's never too late to mate.

Ratings don't matter.

No one really cares if you draw against your cat, but for christssake don't lose!

"Can't we play checkers instead?"

"It's just a game"

Either:

1)When the men on the chessboard
Get up and tell you where to go
And you've just had some kind of mushroom
And your mind is moving slow
Go ask Alice
I think she'll know

or

2) Any advice given AFTER the game (usually by jumping in right away before you've finished shaking hands with opponent) of what move you should have played while under extreme time pressure .. a move the advice-giver saw while sipping a coke and relaxing watching your game.

don't watch chess videos unless you are a very serious about chess or want to become a grandmaster. I've heard that advice a lot in various chess vidoes.