Offering a draw

I have been playing a game with someone. I thought it was a friendly game. I had said a few friendly things without response, and that is fine. He had gotten a slight edge in the game but things looked like they were heading nowhere. So I offered a draw which was declined. Again this is fine, but he seemed to be muddling around, repeating a position at least once and just not seeming to get anywhere. Again, he still had not said anything, so if the position had been repeated or looked like it, I would start offering a draw again. I guess it was about every other move or so. Maybe this is not the right thing to do, I don't know. It just made it hard because he had not said a thing. Then a move ago, all of the sudden in a 60+ move game he asks me to stop offering a draw.

Now, this would be fine ... but like I said he has not been making any headway, and he says it like I have been being rude or something and I feel like I am being a bad guy here. Can someone help me with what the right thing to do is?

I really was not trying to get into a conflict and I am at a loss, especially now because the discussion board has been removed from the game so what else do I do?

Thanks

well, you were being rude. You shouldn't annoy someone by offering them a draw every move when they declined it, because obviously they don't want a draw. Generally, you should wait for your opponent to re offer the draw because that will show that they finally want it. At least wait about 10-20 moves!

yeah don't offer a every other move even if it is a draw.

When you play OTB, you can offer a draw only once, it's a rule. 

Have any pieces been exchanged. If the answer is no, the fifty move rule applies. Has a move been played over and over successively (as opposed to the same move but every other or every third move)? You're in a tough position. I think you were being very reasonable in your request for a draw. Sixty moves is a long game. What kind of material losses have happened? By this I mean where in the game are you: middle game, end of middle game? If someone communicates with you, it is good manners and game play to communicate back. The fact that he didn't respond back (at first) to your offer of a draw is a bit strange. Your are in no way the "bad guy" in this situation. My wife, who is the voice of reason and sanity in our house (and a professional communicator) suggested asking your opponent if he or she is happy with the way the game is progressing. She also suggested looking at hir or her game record and see if games went on for long periods of time with repetitive moves, draws, wins, losses, etc. It's worth a shot. I just played a game with a guy who was very interesting and through using the IM feature, found we had things in common. I prefer to play with people who love the game and like to have a bit of friendly chatting while playing. On the flipside, I understand that some people take their game very seriously. Of course, I've been told that since I am a poor player I wouldn't understand the importance of maintaining one's rating by winning. I love the game so much that I don't mind losing. Why? because I learn from my losses. I may be a poor player but I am getting better everyday. However, I'll never be one to play chess rudely. You're correct in your actions and don't feel bad about the request for a draw. It was a fine example of good sportsmanship!

A good point is made by some of the other posters. You have the right to offer a draw. However, you really only want to offer it once. However, I can see how you would ask a few times. Myself, I would ask once and then ride the game out. Analyze your opponent's games a bit and see if his or her games are simply played this way. If so, you have your answer. I still think your actions were done with good intentions. Alright the rest of you folks, don't remind Variable that the "road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Source? It's not USCF nor FIDE rules. You can offer a draw many times in a game.

One restriction would be if it was construed as annoying to the opponent while

the position on the board does not reasonably support a draw.

Where in the rules?  Maybe someone was being very paranoid about Article 12.6.

Article 9 covers draws but it points to Article 12.6 which states "It is forbidden to distract or annoy the opponent in any manner whatsoever. This includes unreasonable claims or unreasonable offers of a draw."

This appears to allow multiple offers, if not distracting nor annoying.

See this thread which also cautions against making repeated offers.

 I must disagree with my esteemed colleague Mr. Hugh Patterson above. I think that yes, when you offer repeated draws, it is bad etiquette. Generally, the draw offer from the inferior position (or in this case, from the other side of the 'not making headway', which is similar) shouldn't be made, though I realize a lot of people do it. So it's ok to do once, and maybe again in 10 moves (which on this site can be 6 weeks later), but not every other move.

Some people just aren't into the communication feature. Perhaps they have played too much OTB tournament chess, where talking just isn't done during the game.

I was in a vote chess game recently, and we (the "positional" players) were defending the black side of a tough position. For some reason, there was always a certain contingent who always wanted to offer a draw, most likely "just to see if they take it". In that type of position, sometimes the counterparty takes awhile to make progress. But it doesn't mean that they won't find a plan which does make progress - they may just be slow. In the end, the vote chess ended with white offering a draw (in a pretty darn equal position by that point) and black accepting.

well now and then you do come across players who want to play the whole game out.....but remember you agreed to play him and the game is not finished unless you win, lose or draw as per rules (when mutual draw options are out of scope, so to say)...so play out the match, you never know...your opponent may make a mistake giving you winning chances...so keep looking for one and improve your endgame.

Wow, fair enough. I guess my only thoughts were that by now it probably could have taken a third of the moves to get there from the opening. I guess when someone moves there king three or four moves across the board and then turns around seeming without cause it makes me wonder but I did not mean to offend. The only other thing is that with some sites, depending on what is has been played a draw will be awarded anyway. That was my thinking, but I will stop. Thanks for the input.

as far as i know repeatedly offering a draw is against the rules, but only in a tournament, else how do you enforce it.

however his/her attitude does seem strange.

that's okay if it doesn't break any rules.
Remember, it's just a game...

Here on chess.com, I tend to refuse draws, even when they may be beneficial to me, but I always explain the reason to my opponent: I am trying to learn practicing more endings, so I rather lose than draw, most of the times!

90 moves and a bad error. Seems like I was taught a lesson. The person in question, who shall remain namless was able to wear me down and use it against me. I still think the game was a dead draw on the board, but it was something I needed to have happen to me. I don't know if I would do the same, to stretch out a game so much that could end in a draw. With this lesson I hope the next time I am in the same position I will get at least a draw.

In any case I still hope there were no hard feelings. I left a message with my sincerest apology and I hope it is accepted.

Why would you be the one to apologize to a jerk who does not have the common decency to so much as reply to you when you write to him?!?

Oh I saw the game. LOL. Bad error? forced mate with the knight in the middle of the board. Fairly spectacular! It was a very repetitive position.  I think the reason you lost was because you lost your temper about this guys behavior and was fed up. 

Well for one I dont think I was the one who lost my temper. Honestly I think people are a bit sensative about draw offers? Anyway I dont wont anyone to be mad at me.

BTW promotedpawn ... if I would have been mad at all, it would have been back at the first post. I think by now anyone would have gotten over it. Perhaps even you? heh ... thanks for the input.

I have to love your priorities.  A guy is rude to you by ignoring your messages, and you end up apologizing to him.  Then you tell us about it, and I offer you support, in the form of telling you that you are not the one who needed to apologize, and ... you ignore this message of mine.  Way to go.  Maybe it is karma, and maybe you got what you deserved after all.

Sorry, I guess when I read all the messages ... others distracted me. I did not mean to ignore you. Thanks for your messages.

Chess is important to me. But so are people. I want to learn how to improve my chess. But I really want to get along with everyone and be friendly ... even if that sounds strange to some. But if I am unsure of how someone is feeling, I would rather be safe than sorry.

Of course he could have just been playing hard ball so to speak. Either way I have covered my bases. For me learning to play chess is more important than learning to compete. If you are a good enough chess player, you come out on top anyway. I like to worry about my chess game, not my rating.

Thanks again.