OK, so a knight and a bishop walk into a bar

bomtrown

The knight orders a salad, but can't find a fork. The bishop says to the waiter..."check please".

G-Money11

Ha!  That's hilarious!

bomtrown

Wait till you hear the one about the pawn who demanded a promotion.

A pawn marched into the boss's office and demanded a promotion. The boss said: "I'm sorry but we don't have any positions available."

 

HEYO!

bomtrown

Then there was the case of the rook who was just about to checkmate the enemy king. He called the bishop on his cell phone and made sure everything was in order, when out of no where his own king was checkmated on the back rank. The rook screamed out: "Now that's a revolting development!!"

bomtrown

And did you hear the one about the pawn storm? Pieces were flying everywhere, but the king was safely castled.

bomtrown

The queen was pursuing proper avenues. The pawn was looking for the right block. The rook took liberties. The bishop was bad. The king went for a walk. The knight hopped right into the sac.

bomtrown

Then there was the case of the bishop that was looking for the pin to hold the thread of the game together.

ADK

Awesome! : D

ADK

bomtrown

Then there's the one about the bad bishop. Not only was it trapped behind its own pawns, but it was also helping to deliver checkmate to its own king.

 

???

TheGrobe

Wow -- these are awful.

TheGrobe

For the one about the promoted pawn, I might have had the boss tell him he was never going to advance beyond his current rank....

bomtrown
TheGrobe wrote:

Wow -- these are awful.


 They're only going to get worse. I'm sorry, but I have to do this.

bomtrown
TheGrobe wrote:

For the one about the promoted pawn, I might have had the boss tell him he was never going to advance beyond his current rank....


 Now that is funny.

TheGrobe

Did you hear about the Knight that moved for a double check but asked the Queen to announce it?

"I'd do it myself" he said, "but I'm a little hoarse".

bomtrown

ohhh I think my head hurts now.

TheGrobe

Or how about the Grandmaster who hosted a simul against an Australian chess club?

"I can't understand how I lost all those games" he was heard to say afterwards. 

"Everytime they attacked my King they announced 'Check, mate'."

bomtrown

When asked why he did not like to occupy the center, the 1960's tough guy said that "the center is (4) squares."

elmodog
TheGrobe wrote:

Did you hear about the Knight that moved for a double check but asked the Queen to announce it?

"I'd do it myself" he said, "but I'm a little hoarse".


That is aweseome. The knight was a naysayer.

kyleevon

Ha Ha.....Ha

Gerik

haha! i love these.