Serious Q: You're about to write your first book on chess. What do you call it?

Mine? "Time's up, you Swede" by 'ImmaLetchuFinnish'.

Yours?

Either "The Blunderfest" or "Psycho chess"

"Morons with 1060 online chess rating - A collection of dissapointing games"

Whatever I would call it ... I would put "Serious book:" before the title...

I already have it all planned out, actually.

I'd just put a big, original symbol on the front, wrapping around to the back, with no official pronunciation, just to make everyone think I'm pretentious. The inside would remove all doubt, having a disclaimer that the content is not only advanced, but presented in a very avant-garde manner. There would then be 167 pages of more original but abstract full-age symbols, followed by a page with a single vulgarity in Oromo, and then 132 more lages of full-page symbols.

Sign me up for a copy. Seriously.

Hasn't that already been published under "Happy Potter & the 18thBillion-th Quest/Excuse for more money"?

That's the beauty of it all. The book is ultimately about chess, but it's disguised as another installment of the Harry Potter franchise, which itself is disguised as a response to Carl von Clausewitz's 'On War'. After its release, I intend to tour the libraries of the United States and see which ones can figure out the right place to categorize it.

An Investigaton into the Potential Ramifictations of Supererogatory Overprotection, with Particular Regard to the Strategic Implications of the Hyperbolic Placement of Significance on the Idea of Intermediate Zwischenzugs.

"Becoming a GM in 90 days"

"CRUSHED like a melon !!!" by PawnCollector2013

-- A Short Story

0 to 1800 in less than 1 year 

I believe I know exactly what a chess player needs to get to at least 1800 rating under a year, given that he/she doesn't know anything about chess at the beginning. It's all about applying properly a small amount of knowledge in chess.

'Learn chess from a 1200 player'

Slight variation: "My First Book on Chess"

The Chess Killer Confesses 

Inside the Mind of the Serial Killer Shah-Mat

Authorities were perplexed. Each of the high profile and powerful murder victims were killed professionally, efficiently and meticulously; each were  killed without a single trace -- except for the chess board carved into their corpses displaying the final position of famous chess immortals with the custom pieces made of diamonds.    

Now that you say chess killer I remembered, there was actually one in real life https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Pichushkin (viewer discretion advised)

"Why do women play chess, or I'm still a virgin"