Stuff Non-Chess Players Say

"The horsey does the L thing, doesn't it?"

"Are you gay? You've been looking at the game more than the girl sitting across from you." (Someone did ask me that at a below 1500 tournament.)

"My 6-year-old granddaughter just started learning chess. Can you play with her, like a game a day? She wants to be a grandmaster like you."

On live chess you often get an idiot who says something stupid like "hey please sex chat babe please".

Well... It's not completely false, either... What other kind of "10 seconds explanation" would you give ?

lol what did the girl look like?

What's the clock do?

Let's just say I had a very difficult time concentrating throughout the game.

Why does the clock have 2 clocks?

"I like bringing my rook out early because it's a really powerful piece"

Did you know there's a way to checkmate in four moves?

"Isn't chess racist since the white guy always moves first?"

In all honesty, it would still be racist the other way around.

There used to be Green and Blue pieces in chess. But then all the Martains, and Smurfs complained we were stereotyping them. And you know how that goes...

"Are all the black pieces cousins?"

This one might get pulled, sorry in advance.

I have a pink chess set :D I really do!!! Pink and white pieces. The board is pink and white. 

True story that I heard at a tournament many decades ago...we were discussing how, after a long hard game, quite often our eyes would be red & one of my friends told of a woman who asked him, "why are your eyes red?  You're not doing anything!"

As a member of the outermost digit of the human hand, i find your use of a "Pinky chess set" highly offensive. I strongly suggest you turn over your politically incorrect set to the proper liberal authorities immediatly, and begin praying for your soul's forgiveness.

Whose turn is it?

Did you move yet?

You can do that?

What do they call those guys who play chess on TV? Graham Crackers?