Sore Losers, and awareness for change!

Another "sore loser" post!! -- Not again!  I know, I know, type "sore loser" in the search bar and the entire page fills with posts.  But my intention here, albeit a possibly impossible task, is that education and awareness of the underlying problem might quell if not mitigate a few instances of sore loser attitude around here.

These "keyboard warriors" so caught up in their emotions over their loss simply misdirect their anger toward their opponent. In reality they are angry at themselves, they could only be angry at themselves, but their competitive drive combined with their emotional volcano places you, their opponent, right in the path of their wrath.

I understand the whole anonymity of the internet thing, where people are not held accountable for the things they say.  And thus they say them.  And when they do it's irrational.  Since I know that my seeing a tactic that wins me the game is not "luck", then why should I let it bother me when they say that along with a few other expletives?

I'll tell you why -- it's because they're in affect pulling me into their world of hate.  Once you've been tugged in this direction, even slightly, well now you've become irrational.  It's like this werewolf disease where people are biting others and spreading like an infectious contagion.  I want to stress the word "irrational" because we must somehow either slightly believe what they are saying to us, or perhaps are fearful that what they are saying is correct.  Well, in fact, I really do know my own father and I know that someone half way across the planet couldn't possibly have relations with my mother, and that if I sucked so badly at chess then I guess I should be ashamed at beating this opponent thats got me all figured out right?  Why should I be bothered by this raw sewage they vomit on me at the end of the game?  Well, simply because I too must somehow become irrational.  I know these things they say are nonsense and should be simply ignored, and that I should move on with a smile and delight in my victory.  The situation is even worse when you lose a game and they feel the need to kick you when your down -- telling you how aweful you are and that perhaps chess is not something you should pursue. Oh yes, and these things have happened to me without any provocation on my part. 

It is the irrationality of this "vomit" that we have to be intimately aware of.  We need to be aware that it can have the power to pull us into their world.  We need to know that throwing the vomit right back on them with our own words indignation only perpetuates the disease.  It gives them power.  They are accutely aware of the emotional response they conjure in their victoms and take great pleasure to know they can control that.  We need to have an umbrella handy, some wash towels, rain-x, deflector shields, etc.  We need to ignore. 

So I've come up with a few ways to combat this that I'm sure have all been discussed before.  My intention here an attempt, however frail it may be, to change the environment through education.  If I can get one person to think just little bit differently, then I've done my job.

1.  The easiest one here is to disable the chat feature at the beginning of the game.  You might be missing out on chatting with someone who is truely a great person, but I can assure you that there are far more "vomiters" out there than there are great people.

2.  Whatever negative thing they say to you, simply know that they are saying it about themselves.  Just feel sorry for them and understand that their life must be so out of control in other aspects of their life that chess might be the only thing they feel they have some control over.

3. Ask yourself why you're upset with these lies on the screen.  Are you afraid they are correct?  Are you offended because someone you've never met knows you more than you know yourself just by playing a game of chess with you?

4.  If you find you've been infected with some of the werewolf venom, stop playing, go do something else, relax. Playing chess whilst emotionally charged is always bad.  I assure you the feeling will pass and you will still be better than them, and your chess will be better as a result.

So, in conclusion, you vomiters out there, just understand that the target of your anger is misguided.  That your emotions are making you irrational.  Stop playing for a while and relax, you will get better by understanding that your losses are making you better.  And for you ignorers out there, keep ignoring them, do not respond, it only empowers them and perpetuates the contagion.

The trick, with bad losers and idiots in general, is just to not care whatever they say. To worry/feel offended etc is just to lower ourselves to their (low) level

hey guys, i am not a sore loser, but sometimes u find yourself a position like this, u have 15 second in clock ur opponent  25 , and he doesn´t give you draw.   For me this is not fair play , is within the regulation time win ok, but there are exceptions , i ´m very angry when this kind of situations happen to me.   I can not claim a draw  cause my opponent does not want repeat moves,  he is just focus on the clock 

This is internet chess, and people will take advantage of anything they can to win. Etiquette does not apply here. Although the position you posted is a draw it comes down to who made their moves quicker. You both had equal opportunity throughout the game to make your moves with certain speed and your opponent played quicker and thus won. If you refuse to play any of your games like this guy did and win games in this fashion then you will be drawing games that you should be winning. I believe this is just part of the game and that you too should take advantage of it yourself. The only way to avoid this is to play only OTB games.

the ones i hate are the ones who run their clock down when they are one move away from unavoidable mate. Especially if it's a 30 min game with 20 mins left..... arrrrgh!!

We've all been there, but the clock is the  "33rd piece" , especially with shorter time controls. The opponent could argue he moved quicker earlier and forfeited  better moves then by doing so.

In England, Fischer timing is becoming the default time control for rapidplay tournaments and this removes the frustration to some extent.

I'd like to see Chess.com give this option if possible.

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The sore losers. If we just block the foul mouthed ones they will increasingly come to exist in their own little teenage cess pool of snot and can exchange stories of how they came to possess carnal knowledge of each others mothers.

Man I feel your pain... Just got out of such a game. Was a nice match, exciting. I blundered, he got ahead, he blundered, I got ahead, I blundered again, he got again, and then he blundered again...

And left me waiting for about 10 minutes in this game final position, only to offer me a draw 15 seconds before his time ran out. Blegh. I hate people like that.

http://www.chess.com/livechess/game?id=638440274

In the shorter blitz type games, cc seems to call the curtain down on a game when there is no reponse within a certain time.