The Lamest Chess Opening Name Of All Time

This opening is literally called "Alekhine's Defense, Alekhine Variation":

So I guess Alexander Alekhine invented a way to play as white against his own opening for black? That's kinda strange. Anybody know the history of this one?

This is literally just a misplayed variation of the exchange alekhine

and if we’re talking weird opening names, nothing beats Die Konigspringerzuriickhaltungspolitik which is just german for ‘the bishop comes out before the knight’ iirc

edit: the Monkey’s Bum and the Thunderbunny Variation are up there too

So what you're saying is that this is a stupid forum topic? Lol

Monkey's Bum

Thunderbunny is a cool name

Just changed the title. I realized how horrible and untrue that title was...

the bishops opening

yeah you moved the bishop to c4 so its the bishops opening obviously (e4 e5 Bc4) 

But that name is a fitting one for that opening, so it's not lame.

Corn Stalk Defense

it transposes into the exchange variation (exd6)

in the exd6 exchange black has a very hard time developing his lightsquared bishop and this is a improved variation

That position looks almost identical to the one that happened in the game that inspired me to create this forum!