Thoughts From Cheater_1
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You should write a screenplay...seriously.
Nov 25, 2007
0
#43
Cheater_1:
"I am coming clean. In the last 3 years I played no more than 10 internet chess games--8 were cheating probably. It holds no more thrill for me. Believe it or not. I hope to finish my story here in about 4 more posts. I"m not trying to force people to believe my story. It's 100% true, take it or leave it."
It sounds like the problem has been resolved long ago... nothing further.
StacyBearden wrote: You should write a screenplay...seriously.
I second that. 
Something like this would make a GREAT independent film! If you're legit you'll have an amazing detailed story for some screen-writers. I'd go see the film. You could even put a comedy slant on it and reach a wider audience. Kinda like "Catch Me If You Can"
Nov 25, 2007
0
#46
"Well, there is NO point whatsoever to this story"
forewarned is forearmed
Sunny_Jim wrote:
And now, just to completely louse up your stoopid thread and bore you all right back to bed, I'm going to grace you all with a rousing rendition of my latest fabulous song that I just made up.
You're so scared of me that you're peeing in your pants, peeing in your pants, peeing in your pants! You're so scared of me that you're peeing in your pants, peeing in your cry baby girlie man pants.
You're so scared of me that you're pooping in your drawers, pooping in your drawers, pooping in your drawers. You're so scared of me that you're pooping in your drawers, pooping in your stupid creepy poltroon drawers.
You're so scared of me that you have to run away, have to run away, have to run away. You're so scared of me that you have to run away, as fast as your rubber chicken legs will carry you.
You're so scared of me that you're hiding under the bed, lurking under the bed, skulking under the bed. You're so scared of me that you're cowering under the bed, in an undisclosed location.
You're so scared of me that you're sucking on your thumb, sucking on your thumb, sucking on your thumb. You're sucking on your thumb, while your stupid nuts clench up and go numb.
Alright, well, so far so good. It's still a work in progress and I'm open to constructive contributions at least, if not criticism.
Can you post this in my freestyle chess battle thread? That shyte is tight.
Also, to Cheater_1, Did you ever consider that maybe life itself cheated you, or at least so you perceive. As a result, you denied yourself a chance to live your less then successful life out and chose to adopt a super-cool internet persona instead? Now you have an impressive but false internet persona and you are an even greater failure in real life as a result.
I hope you continue to cheat until you are an old man, incapable of playing a game that you wasted your entire life on. My humiliation from losing a game to you would be minute in comparison to the humiliation you'll feel when you realize that you accomplished nothing in this life time. Cheat on, cheaters.
If you had become a beta-tester for CM, and got paid $8 an hour, your may have had something to show for this. Instead, you have a bunch of accounts with transferred points and the misconception that we are the gullible ones. Good thing you didn't waste your time raising a family, because I would truly despise you if you chose to breed.
Wow. There are some acidic comments flying around tonight.
hehehe
Nov 25, 2007
0
#51
I wonder why someone who is "coming clean" to set the record straight would post the story in parts and then argue with people about "facts." The method of "coming clean" is manipulitive. Why not a one page post and field questions?
How is it a dumb conclusion? It goes to show the person who cheats has no morals/scruples and is certainly also capable of lying. What's dumb is not to understand or believe this.
EVERYONE is capable of lying , cheater or no cheater . I'm not defending the cheaters I'm just trying to say that cheating is not the worst thing one can do .
StacyBearden wrote:
I have a theory, have had it for a long while now, that maybe Cheater_1 can answer: do people who habitually cheat online do it to gain enjoyment out of the other person's feeling of loss and humiliation? I can see no other reason to cheat with software or any other way.
Someone said once they cheat to see their rank rise, but as rankings for games go, they mean absolutely nothing. So if someone is cheating to raise their rank, are they cheating to feel better about themselves no matter how artificially. I can see no other reason to want to hike your ratings artificially. Does that come from low self-esteem? Parenting issues?
It seems like cheaters spend many hours cheating and perfecting their craft. Is that time spent an effort to be good at something in a life that may be lacking success? I can see no other reason for cheating over so long of a period.
This is very interesting to me just from a psychological standpoint.
I only wanted to quote the first paragraph here but haven't figured out how to do that yet because I'm slow. And trust me, nothing makes me angrier than being slow. So if anybody criticizes me on that account they can definitely count on me to lose my temper. At least they would be able to if I still had a temper to lose, but it's so long gone already that I can't even remember when I lost it and have simply been doing my level best to get by without it ever since. It would help my cause tremendously if only the Government could be coerced into giving me free drugs, to help me keep myself safely sedated and out of harm's way. I demand my free lifetime supply of high grade Cannabis {I want Thai sticks!}, which they owe all us potential menaces to society if they don't want to be accounted indirectly responsible for innocent bloodshed. We sans-temper types don't know how to handle our sobriety very well.... Actually, I'm rather pleased with myself at the magnificent job I've been doing so far of getting through life with no temper, and without hurting everyone in sight. Thank God I have chess for an outlet, and all of you poor stupid creepy poltroons to prey upon. I've always thought of that as the whole point of chess; never mind cheating - ever since I lost my first game! To defeat and humiliate the other guy. Wasn't that the reason Bobby Fischer gave for playing - to feed his own ego by destroying the other guy's? "I live for that priceless moment when I can feel my opponent's ego cracking" was more or less the comment I believe he gave in an interview, while flashing his evil grin.
But you know, if all you're interested in is humiliating the other guy by whatever means you can imagine, since beating them fair and square is obviously completely out of the question for the likes of a creepy poltroon such as yourself Sir (actually, don't go spreading this around or anything but I might be able to help even YOU out in that area, even this late in the game - if only you had the faith and the attention span to study my new Chess Bible, which you'll find posted for sale at unorthodoxchess.com, by delving deeply into it with all your heart and soul - because all things are possible with God 
... unfortunately it is not only your skin that is very, very, very thick, but also your skull - I'll have to be sure to wear a mailed glove to avoid bruising my fist while pounding on it), why not resort to a simple good old fashioned punch in the face? It's an easy no-brainer any stoopid creepy dimbulb can understand, and although chess may be practically the best method ever devised by man for humiliating his fellow man on an intellectual level (you naturally have to grow a thick skin to handle this level of personal humiliation, so it's lucky for you you've already taken the trouble to grow yourself one, right? You're already halfway to making the grade as a bona FIDE {punski} chessplayer, instead of a make believe bogus one like you've been so busy conjuring up legions of with your bone-idle hands, you ignoble fun-spoiling detriment to chess you! [Never fear, folks, we're talking THICK skin here.... Man, what I wouldn't give to kick this poor sorry putz's overripe butt OTB! After having my Casino Personnel friends frisk him first for hidden computers, naturally. If ever there was a guy with a long overdue comeuppance coming, if you ask me that's exactly what our poor silly friend here must be begging for in this case. What else? Oh, right, my attention! Well, welcome to it, I'm sure. Don't blame me if it's not the kind you wanted...]), nothing really works better than a simple punch in the face when you come right down to it, when it comes to leaving your poor hapless victim permanently scarred and traumatized, and best of all there's not much thinking involved, which is good news for the likes of those of us who are too lazy to think hard, and explains why bullying has always been so popular in school among the slow-witted who naturally resent the budding intellectual superiors among their peers and seek ways to even the odds somehow; for instance by inflicting random brain damage upon their fellow students by pounding on their skulls. All you have to do is simply grow a big stupid meathook on the end of your big stupid creepy poltroon arm, and then you smash it into the face of anyone you want to put down whenever they're not looking or you have your friends at your back if you're a true gutless wonder of a creepy poltroon, or else challenge them to bareknuckles at dawn in the schoolyard if you think you have any guts and then find out the hard way if you actually do - then, after doing the desired amount of cranial damage to the other guy you walk away laughing and just make darn sure they never, ever get the chance to return the favor, while they of course get to enjoy the privilege of trying to relate the whole tragic tale to their dentist while sobbing through their clamped jaw and broken teeth, which he will be busily doing his best to repair what's left of and charging them the usual exorbitant fee just to add insult to injury.
cheater_1 wrote:
I'll detail my obsession with cheating at chess from its online infancy"
online you don't get away with cheating
BTW, cheating happens to be just as common in the Checkers room. I learned that when I beat a program a guy was using two games in a row, and he flipped out on me and demanded to know what program I was using since he told me he was using HIS program to try to catch cheaters red-handed, and refused to accept the premise than anyone could possibly be posessed of that much natural ability. So I insisted that I was the reincarnation of the Herd Laddie, and offered to prove my skills in an OTB match if only he would be so kind as to furnish his home address - and naturally that was the last I heard from HIM.
Sunny_Jim wrote: BTW, cheating happens to be just as common in the Checkers room. I learned that when I beat a program a guy was using two games in a row, and he flipped out on me and demanded to know what program I was using since he told me he was using HIS program to try to catch cheaters red-handed, and refused to accept the premise than anyone could possibly be posessed of that much natural ability. So I insisted that I was the reincarnation of the Herd Laddie, and offered to prove my skills in an OTB match if only he would be so kind as to furnish his home address - and naturally that was the last I heard from HIM.
isn't their a perfect play in checkers? thought i read about it somewhere...
Nov 26, 2007
0
#57
Hello again. Trying to sum up a decade of my obsession in one post can't be done. Two more posts and I'll be done-- I'd love to talk chess. The next part of my story I doubt that 10% will buy. It's hard to swallow, but do some research and see that what I describe does actually exist and is being perpetrated by others. I must be somewhat vague, seeing what I describe here is quite illegal. Fast forward to USCF sanctioned events..........An accomplice of mine (who also happens to have a handicapped relative with a van--complete with parking priviledges) would park very close to the building where the event was held. In the back she sat with a laptop with Fritz installed set to agressive play and also piece values and mobility values adjusted to basically blitzkrieg the opponent. She also possessed a wireless transmitting device/ microphone. I was equipped with a tiny wireless earpiece and a wireless camera hidden on my person. As I sat down to the chess board, she would get a nice, clear shot of all the pieces. Her laptop monitor displayed a split screen with my chessboard on one side and Fritz on the other side. She would see, in real time, the moves I made and then enter that move into Fritz. After Fritz found the best move, all she would do is whisper, "Knight to D4" or whatever the move was. It sounded to me like she was leaning over my shoulder, her lips pressed to my ear, it was that clear. I had certain hand signals rehearsed if I wanted the move repeated, etc. The moves Fritz made were quite unorthodox and any Master could pick them apart, but remember that my USCF rating is quite average and the poor saps who had the misfortune of sitting across from me were brutally crushed. Once my accomplice would announce "mate in 10" I would take over by myself, so as not to appear too perfect. Although one time it took me 22 moves to mate when it was mate in 10. All the locations were scouted prior to the event to make sure there were no dead reception areas and that a signal booster wouldn't be needed. Now, I can count the # of times I've done this on two hands, and still have fingers left over. I have yet to lose employing this method, but the best thing to do IS throw a game once in a while. We're all human, right? Next spring is marked on the calendar. I shall attempt it once again. This story is a tough pill to swallow I'll wager, but do the research, it's entirely technically possible to accomplish. And I have. A final post tomorrow. Goodbye.
Some people think it is oke to cheat. I think it is a lack of self-estime that push somebody in this position.In addition,someone who likes to cheat is not going to know the taste and the beauty of this wonderful game. I can tell anyone that I am very pride of myself as chess player. Furtermore, according to the Bible cheating on others is a sin period.
Nov 26, 2007
0
#59
Well, I guess you are surprised, eh Sunny Boy. Poor?...........nope, Inheritance took care of that. Feeble?.....................wrong again sunny boy, I run 21 miles a week. Old?.........that's relative, I'm quite young compared to my grandmother. Creep?.......BINGO! You win the brilliancy award Sunny Boy. I'm a bonafide scumball who does indeed take pride at proving his superiority over others no matter what the cost. oh well, 1 outta 4...can't win em all, eh?
cheater_1 wrote:Well, I guess you are surprised, eh Sunny Boy. Poor?...........nope, Inheritance took care of that. Feeble?.....................wrong again sunny boy, I run 21 miles a week. Old?.........that's relative, I'm quite young compared to my grandmother. Creep?.......BINGO! You win the brilliancy award Sunny Boy. I'm a bonafide scumball who does indeed take pride at pretending to be superior over others no matter what the cost. oh well, 1 outta 4...can't win em all, eh?
Fixed. 
Well, there is NO point whatsoever to this story. NO moral. Nothing. I have no real reason as to why I'm wasting my time telling this,other than it's better than sitting on a chess site for 6 hours cheating. Consider it a memoir of an egotistical and arrogant midwestern USA man who was never as good as he wanted to be at chess--and found that he COULD be if he went to the dark side. Story continues.....I announced to my online chess comrades that the day before Christmas in 2003 I was going to have a Farewell match with who was then regarded as POGO's best player, a certified real life GM who shall remain nameless. I thought I of course was POGO's best player, but it didn't matter, I was also the man behind the certified real life GM. I WAS BOTH PLAYERS. I hijacked a real life USCF GM's persona and knew all there was to know that was publically available about him. People bought it. I hyped this Farewell match months before it happened (by the way, I also crave attention). On Xmas Eve of '03 I had my cheater_1 account using Internet Explorer and my "GM" account using Netscape Navigator at a table in clockwork orange. What the dopes on POGO thought was that they were going to see a real Man vs. Machine match. I also had a move list of a 1997 New York City match between Deep Blue and Kasparov. Deep Blue forced Kasparov to resign in humiliating fashion after 45 moves. Old Blue would later determine it was a draw game, crushing Kasparov's ego all the more. With a packed house of 100 people watching me put on this one man show, I played it to perfection. Cheater_1 trash talked the GM mercilessly and made moves fairly quickly. When it was the GM's turn, I went and made a sandwich to give the illusion of the GM thoughtfully considering his move. I drew it out for a few hours to make it look good and actually got a lot of work done around the house. Ah the gullible pinheads. After the GM resigned and paid his respects and left, one of the 100 spectators actually called the game for what it was. Someone in the crowd ACTUALLY knew this was a Kasparov vs. Deep Blue game based on those 45 moves. I was BLOWN AWAY! There are people out there online that really, truly are students of the game and not just 15 year old punks playing instead of doing homeowork. I of course denied that this was a replay of ANY game and denounced him and called him some horrible name or another. At that point I said my goodbyes and dropped out of online chess completely--only playing a handful of games since. I still loved chess and loved a good scam so the persona of cheater_1 still lived. I was at the time nearing completion of my OTB cheating scam which had proved nearly flawless in tests. It involved a van, a laptop with Fritz, a wireless camera, and a wireless earpiece.....................