Unless you are a troll you shouldn't be looking for help here. Talking to your GP is a good start.
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i want to get help but i dont know how. i know i am not ok, he|l i've never been okay. i just smile my life away, and hide the pain inside but i don't know what to do anymore. i'm scared of myself, i'm scared i'll hurt myself (not self harm), i'm scared i'll hurt others. i'm just scared. someone please help me if you can. I'm losing everyone i know because they are blocking me all because i say hi. I apologize for this rant but I just needed to say that.