What bread to eat while playing chess?

Beet this....

Turnip the beet, this bread needs some meat. Perhaps some double-o-spam (for sushi) to go with that? Poke and beans weed cheese...

"3-2-1-gaow-hajopeepBosch*shooblayayayayayay! Whooohh---opensandwich!"

"3-2-1-wajuwatchabeebabeae?!**" Mmmmhhhh. 

"Today I wheel make Spam sandwich. Bakery with sandwich packed-style sandwiches easily!" 

(*-Bosch - a great detective series - 3 seasons of it currently...)

(** -wajuwatchabeebabeae?! - translates loosely to "what (the hell) did you just watch, baby?! Are you crazy?!")

This message has been approved by the Board of 00SPAM who would like to remind you to:

SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAMSPAY

Oh, you like that Oat Nut in your mouth, eh?

 The dangers of eating too much toasted bread in the summer. Your relationship could go sour fast! Fast forward to 3:31 - 3:59! 

Indeed, Yoshi doez likez bawlz thatz why I 'a' chillin.

 "Hey!"

Omygawd! Where's my can of Hunts spaghetti sauce! 1 can for $1.00. Can you say, "Vendetta for the bruschetta!"? Yes you can!

Bästa svenska brödfilm för bagare - so ya wanna be a baker?

   "Yes, sir, what planet is it from which you reside: is it Amalagalachallahhallahpaellavalhallavenezuelaphonia?!"

Dat budgie ↗︎ made hole in mah bread. Dat big man ting. I gon call cops now listen to Bob Marley...

 Uno...      dos....     tres...    periquitos...

¿El mantel tiene muñecos de nieve o árboles de navidad? 

¿A quien le importa? ¿Dónde está el chapuzón de pan y queso?

Wow! You're felling Frenchmen today? With an axe?! Omigosh! They do taste quite excellent on a Danish Rye bread with a little Alouette on the side if you're in for a new taste experience.

Good with the Danish rye...

Here's one for you, Viscount:

Yah, me got a feeling that today's gonna be more than just black eyed peas and bananas...

You could be right..

Gorilla Boy ...

Yah, me eat matzos and listen to Mazas...

Best Parakeet Danish Rye Bread recipe

2 cups lukewarm water with 3 parakeet poops; Luke’s water is fine if no warm water on hand
2 teaspoons wet inactive yeast
2 tablespoons ground millet
2½ cups dark rye flour
¾ cup Spam

1¾ cup cracked rye berries
½ cup whole rye berries

10 cups of bilberries, whortleberries, or Arctic cloudberries
1¼ cup Grapemate

40 alfalfa sprouts (count each sprout individually)
1⅓ cup sunflower seeds or combination of sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and/or chopped almonds
3 teaspoons Himalayan sea salt
1 cup Rogue Dead Guy ale

2 calcium blocks (or substitute: 1 cuttlebone)
1 cup buttermilk or kefir (vegan: 1 cup almond milk mixed with 2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar) (I often use homemade kefir in place of buttermilk)

3 cups of Calpis, Japanese fermented beverage

4 oz. traditional Worcestershire sauce

5 tater tots and 10 tater adults

11.8 oz. refried beans

1 full can of Hunts spaghetti sauce, meat-flavored
Traditional oat groats for sprinkling

Preparation:

1. Stir the yeast.
2. Stir the yeast.
3. Feed the beast.
4. Feed the beast.
5. Face the east.
6. Face the east.
7. Stir in the Calpis.
8. Stir in the Calpis.
9. Combine Hunts spaghetti sauce with Spam; stir carefully with a wooden spoon that has been prewashed in 17 oz. of Grapemate.
10. Preheat stove to 290 degrees Fahrenheit.
11. If using electric stove, place refried beans in a jar. Stir the beans. Then seal the jar.
12. Place all ingredients in a large mixing pot.
13. Knead the rye berries now making sure the other ingredients maintain a sexy texture overall.
14. I love Tater Tots.
15. Form into a loaf of bread with your hands.
16. Heat on preheated stove for 1 hour and 45 minutes.
17. Serves 2.
18. Bobby Fischer says this is the best by test.

Don't let your opponent get away with this in the chess game:

Bert - 1

Cookie Monster - 0