What Openings would you recommend for a boring player?

I am a boring chess player. I like both players to lock up the center and then to move their knights around 85 times and then agree to a draw. Whenever I have a choice, I always choose the most boring continuation. I recently lost a game because I was hasty, but I try to play as slow as possible. 

I like to make lots of pawn moves (1 square of course, not 2 unless I have to) as possible and I never, ever give up material unless I'm sure I have compensation. I wonder if there are openings out there for me because I like to play slow, drawn out games (and it's okay if they end in a draw.) If possible I try to be on the defensive, that is where I feel comfortable. If I can give my opponent an attack, I go for it, especially if it means having extra material. I play for a draw with both the white pieces and the black pieces. After all, if I can draw against everyone, then I would be rated at least 2700. The problem is when people can beat me.

Also, can anybody give beginner advice about good defensive chess? I have been looking at the games of Paul Keres and Reti in particular and I have been trying to learn good passive, defensive chess. I am a very good defender, and always go for a defense when I can. I'm very good at positional play and making the game last a long time, but I admit that I'm a little deficient in tactics. My favorite players are Petrosian and Botvinnik. I like how they can make the game last lots of moves and are very good at drawing. I am a very passive, drawish player so I admire them a lot.

Look up the London system as white. There you play boring but solid and have good chances to squeeze your opponent to death. It's also pretty easy to learn and you almost always play the same moves against everything.

Look up the London system as white. There you play boring but solid and have good chances to squeeze your opponent to death. It's also pretty easy to learn and you almost always play the same moves against everything.

sorry for double post

Petroff as black vs 1. e4.

queen's gambit declined lasker variation vs 1.d4

For white play the London system for sure.

london system, hippopotamus system, colle system, pirc and in some lines of the kid and caro kahn

French Defense,Petroff or Pirc  as Black against e4

Kings Indian Defense (or Possibly Nimzo, Maybe Czech Benoni) against e4 and c4 

Honestly, I like it when my opponents are bored by my opening. 

I underline what has already been said:

1/As white, the London

2/The Petroff as main defence against e4. Although of course sub optimal white lines like the Kings Gambit can unfortunately lead to interesting chess.

3/Against 1d4 d5,2c4  I would recommend c6. Of course systems not involving 2c4 lead to boring lines which is good ! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

the beginners game by pafu bothi, play it with white and black

Hmmm.. the advice is helpful, but I really want an opening where I have to memorize lots of theory. You guys are giving me easy-to-remember openings. I don't even have to remember one line for the London System.

OP - I think you're confusing 'boring' with 'counterattacking' opening. 

You say you like to be on the defensive, give your opponent a (premature) attack, and you like defending. 

Of course, you also say you want to draw everyone, so odds are high you're just a troll, but I'll play anyway. 

Sounds like you want a counterattacking opening, not a solid, stable opening. And if you want to memorize a lot of specific lines and NOT use an easy-to-remember opening (like the London), that's also a counterattacking system, not a 'boring' opening.

Fortunately, there actually is at least one black opening that fits all of your criteria.

The MODERN defense. The Pirc defense is similar, and they often transpose, but in the modern, there's a small differencein delaying playing Nf6 (for a long time, in a lot of cases) that makes for a very different game.

In the modern as black:

- Lots of early pawn pushes. g6 and then a6 are required in most lines early!

- No black attacking moves in the opening. YOu actually INVITE white to take over the center and push you back!

- You often don't castle as black. 

- Blocking the center with the pawns is often a good plan (but not the only plan.)

- Black MUST be a decent defender to survive the most aggressive white lines.

I still think you're likely a troll based on your 'I like to draw every game' post, but just for other people's interest, I'm posting anyway

Well, so far I have been a troll.

But your arguments for the modern defense are actually really compelling.

I really want to try this opening now.

Trololo...?

Although the exaggeration is trollish, I truly don't consider myself an "aggressive" player. I don't acually try to play boring, but I do try to play solid rather than complicated. I can go either way though, I wouldn't say I have a definite style. I should look at the modern defense as it is an opening I have never once tried.

I definitely am intriguied by the fact that people at my rating tend to over-attack when given the opportunity. The only problem is I am not as good as defender as my troll post claimed, and still would rather be attacking. If anything, my possible strength lies more in persevering in a losing position forcing my opponent to play as competently as possible rather than defending from an attack.

And unlike the troll post, I don't enjoy moving my knights 85 times and then agreeing to a draw and specificallly try to achieve this kind of chess game, but I don't mind it at all and I'm totally willing to transpose to it if that's what the position demands.

Thanks for the serious response.

You should play the Grob opening, that will show em! Well at least it's the least glamorous souding name for an opening.

Well, you've pretty much done a completely 180 from your original post.

If you dislike truly defending, you'll HATE the modern defense. Lots of defense required. 

You should just listen to what the folks above say and just play the London as white. Super solid d4 opening that's impossible to crack in the first 10-12 moves, shuts down any hyperaggressive play from black if they push hard in the opening, and leads to an aggressive white kingside attack in most cases. And you will be attacking for most of the middlegame, and black is the one who will be defending and trying for a less clear counterattacking plan.

You won't win the game out of the opening as white, since the drawback to its super solidity is its less aggression, but that's why the opening is good - you get to middlegames that YOU are much more familiar with as white than black is, and then you play a much more enjoyable game of actual chess from the middlegame, rather than hoping the opponent will fall into a cheap opening trap and being lost thereafter.

Jesus loves you

I'm not sure that I know any answers that haven't already been said. But you can try asking this guy https://www.chess.com/members/view/AnishGiri.

1 c4

Try pawn locking. Try scratching yourself and grunting lots when playing these games, to increase the chances of mistakes from your opponent. Random appeals to various gods help as well, alongside drooling.