We need to be realistic, winning is fun and losing is not, we need to face that reality. Ok sometimes we get a close game and its fun, but mostly losing sucks. Anyone who likes to have their mistakes pointed out is a sadomasochist. I know you are going to cite Capablanca, losing is to learn from ones mistakes, yes this is the correct attitude but it does not dull the pain. Ultimately we should be able to divorce ourself entirely from events on the chessboard after all, its simply the march of logic, but never the less, we are human and prone to aberration, this is what makes chess so interesting.
Winning 100% of the time is not fun. Losing 100% of the time is not fun. Challenging but do-able is fun. If a win some, lose some exchange is not fun for someone, and they need to win all the time or a vast majority of the time to feel good about themselves or their time spent, then there's something wrong that needs to be addressed...and anyone that says that the primary goal of all games is to win is a strong candidate for someone that has their priorities/understanding in life messed up.
Games are meaningless outside of a social enjoyment/leisure context, and the social enjoyment/leisure element does not survive under a "must win at all costs or I am not a success" mindset coming from any participants.
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a mistress, man one can only dream about such luxury! I'd ask her to wear striped sox for sure.