why is chess affecting my personal relationship with my girl friend.

funny,i am in oppiste side,my gf is state champion and i am a beginer,though i hate seeing her playing all the time,sometimes i hate her,she is her own world calculating moves.i have no choice just sit and watch

I think that you guys above, who are having problems with the ladies, are into denial. Take it from an old man who is still married 46 years and going strong.

Women put up with a lot of crap from men. Chess just ain't one of them.

Do you change your underwear? Ever tried picking up the tab at a restaurant? Can you be really, really nice to a woman...such as I am?

Believe me, brothers...play your cards right and a good woman will let you play as much chess as you want.

But, to balance this, I will tell youi that my woman won't let me drink liquor, smoke more than three cigars a week...and stuff like that. To be fair, she has damn good reason. Left to myself, who knows what kind of stunts I might pull.

I will also agree that a woman doesn't leave a man for chess.There are other reasons and maybe chess is just the kind excuse.

I've seen this a number of times. The one that stands out the most to me is a married couple where the wife got fed up with hubby's chess. She gave him an ultimatum and told him it was either her or chess...he told her goodbye and to hit the road. I once had a girfriend who seriously tried to restrict my playing in tournaments...as in stop playing in tournaments. I told her to hit the road. There is more than chess involved here, if a love interest does not take your own interests seriously as being a part of your life, the question is, how much does she really care about you?

n4nf3 Well said. I'm not married but in a LTR with a wonderful lady who supports my hobbies and wants me to teach her how to play. 

Unless you're always obsessing about chess than it shouldn't be a problem. If, however it is because of that then maybe not talk about it too much in front of her. Or, find a girl who as well likes chess

haha

Whoa! If ever there was a hyperbole...

Thanks alot i really love your comments it put me in a right way.

Dude , when you meet a girl of your dreams , know that:

There is no such thing.

"Girl of your dreams" is for the 16 year old kids.When you grow older you know that if you see something that shines like gold might actually not be gold and the huge problem is that if you are blinded because you consider her the woman of your dreams you will do many stupid things that will make you wonder later.

In  any relationship you have to slowly work on knowing your gf.And that demands clear thinking , we men usually don't have if we are excited because we met the woman of our dreams.Usually we lose her and we think it is because of chess.

if ya wanna fondle your pawn.. instead of your woman.. your got problems.

One thing, I had a girlfriend, and while she knew I played chess, she never actually saw me playing.

So how about ease up on the chess a bit around her, and play when she's not there.. that way she will not get angry about you playing, if she sees you "never" playing.

Good point. The worst thing to do is to bug her "how about a chess game?" every time she enters the room.

Relationship deters yourlife, chess doesnt :-D... And chess is not as expensive as having a gf!!!

True, chess is not as expensive as a gf , but although chess has 2 queens you can't have sex with either of them, lol. 

This is probably the best post I've seen on these forums yet.  Amen, and pass the sangria.

how true.

Unconditional love?There is no such thing.Not even parents love their children unconditionally.We are greatly flawed creature.We love to take.Unconditional love are 2 meanings that are hugely controversial like vegetarian lion.It may exist , but only in fairy tales.

Totality with a woman?How old are you?16?

How many women have you met?How many relationships did you have in your life?1?

Maybe you are in love right now.I did believe in unconditioonal love and totality when I was 16 , not anymore.

Any relationship has nothing to do with totality.In fact the seek of totality is the basic mistake we men do.Relationship is trying to keep and adapt your individuality , respecting others individuality and trying to understand it.Something that is far from easy.You have to give , while at the same time keeping "things" for yourself , you have to take while at the same time , let the other keep "things" for herself.Summarising you have to give a lot but not everything and you have to take a lot but not as for everything.Men don't really know when to stop giving and when to stop taking because they believe in the "totality with a woman".It is the "totality " that eats the relationship alive.

The protection of individuality , something we men rarely do , especially when we have met the girl of our dreams or when we are in love, is the Key ingredient for the success of any relation.That is why  relations that start with great passion end 6-12 months later and relations that start as not something extraordinary many times end to be some of the best in our life.

 Forget totality , totality leads almost certainly in sick relationships.

Be yourself , make steps back when you must, take your time to learn your gf , give and take but don't give everything and don't demand from your gf to give you everything.

The real happiness is much simpler thatn we think and has nothing to do with "huge expressions" like:  "Unconditional love" and "Totality" 

In real life nothing is total and nothing is unconditional.