I think this problem is not chess related
why is chess destroying my life
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8 hrs ago
0
#24
truscottboon wrote:
why is chess destroying my life i can't stop playing i need the validation and the rush but i feel so patheric when i lose all the time and i feel so helpless to stop because i know i am better than my losses and i have to play gain and i lose again because i am such a moron and useless worthless human being with no friends and no one to love or be loved by my only companion is chess but it is also destroying me and i am helpless to prevent it
Dear unhappy soul, have you tried relaxing into it? Rather than playing to win, play for fun only? Chat with an opponent in a slow game. Connecting with others in the most causal way can be nice! Offering a few kind, simple words to another without asking for anything in return, and the world is a little lighter because of your kindness. And it brightens you as well.
8 hrs ago
0
#25
Dude dont end your life over something meaningless as thiu K? you have plenty other talents
truscottboon wrote:
actually decide to live I found Gottfried94s Mum is a good root
Are you sure? I would give it a second thought if I were you
Serious talk.
First of all, if you are considering self harm, you need to seek out help. And chess shouldn't even register. It's just one thing and there are so many other things out there.
In terms of chess, you a placing unrealistic expectations on yourself. You are capable of chess improvement, but you are going about it all wrong and with the wrong attitude. All you play is bullet. How are you suppose to improve when you haven't put in the work? Improvement comes through playing longer games, giving you time to practice your calculation skills and internalizing what you've learned. You can't do this with bullet.
And you also can't do anything when you are beating yourself up with negative self talk. Telling yourself you are worthless and a moron. Intelligence isn't even much of a factor at novice/intermediate level chess. Maybe at the highest levels, but most of chess is pattern recognition. And you aren't giving yourself the time to figure out the patterns. Chess progress is measured in months and years. You need to be more patient with yourself. It's not something you can will yourself to be good at in such a short amount of time. Regardless, you won't make any progress in the game while you are in this negative head space. And addressing that is way more important than chess.