Why is my burger-eating husband worth the game?!?

This piece as we all know is worth the game! This is the king. AKA, my burger-eating husband. My non-stop burger-eating, soda-pop-drinking, video-game-playing, morbidly obese, at-risk-for-heart-attack, 27-year-old, father-of-two, idiot husband. My mom-in-law says she's the queen...

You know what--I'm cool with that. He better respect her as much as he respects me! But gosh-darn it, we both know who does the dirty work! I do the laundry, make dinner, pay the bills, go to work (he's too busy playing video games), get the mail, clean the house, vacuum, feed the cat, etc. It doesn't really matter whether you hold the queen to be the Queen Consort or the Queen Mother (because his mother did the same for him!), my burger-eating husband ain't worth anything in my book!

I wonder if he thinks about cheating on you. No wait, I don't wonder about that.

However, his cheating will result in very serious consequences. See

https://www.chess.com/forum/view/general/rook-or-2-queens?page=1, post #15

I can't believe no one can see how sexist chess is! I have to teach this game to my daughters and it will traumatize them how the king behaves JUST LIKE their burger-eating father!

That man is lazy... You be careful

I'm probably the only woman looking forward to widowhood.

I doubt that's true, newengland7, it's not even a new sentiment:

"I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction." -- Clarence Darrow

Just for the record, everyone knows that this is satire and completely and totally fake, right?

It's not only sexist, it's completely and utterly racist!

Ahem, ma'am--who is making your husband the burgers?