You might not be a chess player if...

.... you play candy crush and pokemon.

.....You think a gambit is a group trip to the casino

if you think c4 is an explosive bomb not a square.

....you say King me when your pawn reach the 8th.

...you think Giuoco Piano is an Italian manufacturer of musical instruments.

lol good one!

... you thought Nimzovich and My System to be Nietzche and his writings.

If you think a4 and h4 are the two best opening moves because it looks like a goalpost.

slight edit to yours: if you think a4 and h4 are the two best opening moves because it works in call of duty therefore it must work in chess.

...you have named your chess pieces.

You call knights horses.

you don't play chess.

...if you ask your FM friend if people are constantly finding new strategies to play...

(lol [soooo cheeeesy])

you don't know how the pieces move

you are the guy in @ChinoftheQuinn's video (remember that guy who sounded like Squidward?)

If you insist on calling a rook a castle.

if u play the game like checkers

if u call a rook a castle and a knight a horse

You might not be a reader if you post the exact same thing that others posted just a few posts up from your own.

(#48 - #46 - #41)