A dirty joke

A man decides to have a face-lift

for his birthday. He spends

$5,000 and feels really good

about the results. On his way

home, he stops at a newsstand

and buys a paper.

Before leaving, he says to the

sales clerk, "I hope you don’t

mind me asking, but how old do

you think I am?"

"About 35," was the reply.

"I’m actually 47," the man says,

feeling really happy.

After that, he goes into

McDonalds for lunch and asks

the clerk the same question.

The reply is, "Oh, you look

about 29".

"I am actually 47."

Later, while standing at a bus

stop, he asks an old woman the

same question.

She replies, "I am 85 years old,

and my eyesight is going. But

when I was young, there was a

sure way of telling a man’s age.

If I put my hand down your

pants and play with your balls

for 10 minutes, I will be able to

tell you your exact age."

As there was no one around, the

man thinks, What the hell and

lets her slip her hand down his

pants.

Ten minutes later, the old lady

says, "Okay, it’s done. You are

47."

Stunned, the man says, "That

was brilliant. How did you do

that?"

The old lady replies, "I was

behind you at McDonalds

:)