Genius!
A Very Bizarre Situation and an apology
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Mar 24, 2016
0
#3
The new minister actually referred me to Genesis ...there were a lot of angry angels, stonings, fiery swords and mention of sacrifices in the speech he gave me.
you may have some clothes i've given to goodwill.
Mar 24, 2016
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#5
Al , I never lift the cheap stuff, there is no challenge there. Lifing a piece of clothing with one of those alarm things attached to it is more difficult than it seems. It has a clever locking mechanism. You have to cut the thing out and later fix the garment which can be very annoying.
maybe you are better at scheming yourself fine clothing?!?
and, i don't remember cutting clothing for what is offered at goodwill. maybe i just walked out with work clothes...
Mar 25, 2016
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#8
Down jackets are fine, nothing better than covering myself in a nice goose's butt fluff.
Mar 25, 2016
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#10
glad to hear you left the ministry some years ago...with your attitude to ministry you had no other choice but to be honest and quit. Hope you never counsel any attractive women one on one !
Mar 25, 2016
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#11
with my attitude toward honesty I had no choice but to leave the ministry. fixed.
This is amazing storytelling and a very apt use of terminology! I'm not really sure the right situations in which to reference this to people, so I'm going to play it safe and go with all of them.
Thank you for opening my eyes to the excellent matchmaking opportunities of ministry! All these years I completely wrote off the idea, but having been personally excited and inspired by the symbolism of the eucharist, baptism, kneeling in prayer, crucifixion, and so on in much different ways than others, I should have considered that I might not be the only one, and that there would be others like me, likewise drawn.
Work issues and a disciplinary hearing has kept me from the forums for a few days. I will try to catch up with insulting and/or humiliating the appropriate people later.
A most bizarre thing happened to me this week.
While I am a great advocate of shop lifting my part time job description does not allow me to officially proclaim shop lifting to be a civil service. In fact no-one in my congregation knows I shop lift. I say 'my congregation' although I have left the ministry some years ago to focus on counseling because with counseling people actually listen to all the crap you talk and thank you for it.
Recently the totally hottest woman in the congregation brought her 14 year old son to me for no other reason than to cure him of his shop lifting. Our faith is tested in many ways.
To make things worse she insisted on sitting in while I council her son so she could ' take notes'
Years as a pastor schooled me in the fine art of telling convincing lies with fervor while keeping a straight face but not with this kid's mother sitting three feet away taking notes and asking questions.
For the first time in my life almost every chess term available became applicable in a real life situation from Zugzwang to sacking the queen ( commonly known as a queen sack)
I j'adoubed every second thing I said and en passanted most of the mother's questions.
She discovered I was checking her out more than looking at her son, ever notice how a discovered check makes it really awkward and difficult not to try check again?
I opened a file on the kid.
I was in a bind, doing book moves while feeling like a bad bishop.
The word 'bust' was everywhere.
I felt cramped, a desperado, a cheapo and as this was no casual crosstable arrangement , there was a lot of wood and it was not coming off the board.
In the end I suggested a coffehouse ,she slapped me.
I am always the first to admit when I am wrong. So I apologize for saying chess has absolutely nothing to do with life.
I change my opinion to:
In certain bizarre situations that arrises once every 20 years or so there are some parallels to be drawn between real life and chess.
( Just to be clear: I don't shop lift indiscriminately I only shop lift food and clothing. And sometimes luxury items I can't afford but very seldom)