Accountancy.com

So the bunny starts off this topic in off-topic directly since there's where all his content ends up anyway.  who knows, a mod might diligently move it to community?  perhaps autobunny should be renamed to off-topic-bunny.  something off-putting about it though.

speaking of renaming, perhaps chess.com should rename itself accountancy.com, since there is so much discussion about closing accounts here.

https://www.chess.com/forum/search?keyword=close+account

it's definitely creative accounting with pre-qualifiers such as

• i am
• i may
• i might
• should i

but whatever it is, always be closing!

nobody asks about balancing ledgers though.

and remember, coffee is for closers only.

you could be a coffee achiever too

the bunny used to be a coffee achiever in his last life

I like coffee...

why is the bunny here? he is here because he was asked to do a favor. the real favor, he said, would be to fire the bots, half the mods, and some staff. give them a set of steak knives on their way out. 

Cupertino please...

the bunny has the new topics. they are gold, and you can't read them. 

they are for closers.

Cold one

you call yourself a purveyor of topics here? your name's alok? 

only one thing matters and that is getting people to post in the topic! 

bunny could go out there and post topics that would receive 15,000 responses. can you?

I kinda like that thing.... I don’t know why you’re so annoyed right now... but I hope you have a great day! I like coffee...

know what it takes to make great topics? it takes brass balls. the opportunities are out there. if you don't take them, the bunny will have no sympathy for you.

i know, you'll be at the bar with your friends-"creating topics is a tough racket. i tried to do it". 

Know what all it takes to get things locked? making a controversial topics is one among those things... still there are topics that are chess related but they’ve been discussed many times so far. And about the “bar” stuff... I don’t go at bars

Perhaps the site needs the accountant

But can they afford his

But either way he's got the coffee, so he must be a closer

Their last auditor is not coming back

Duck

Stop?  But the counting never stops. Perhaps we can find accountants here. 

https://www.chess.com/club/society-of-counters

"On June 16, 2018, counting games were banned from the global Chess.com forums. Here, they find refuge. Play counting classics like Count to 1000 before this member posts! or Race to 100. Please do not make hateful messages here; we simply enjoy these games. Join us and count until... infinity"

Not everything is amenable to counting, thank the Lord.  But you can still thank Georg Cantor for countable infinities.  No small achievement, some might say. 

Perhaps we should count how many times different people asked if or stated that they should/would close their accounts. Countable sets of countable reps. Infinitely boring but this is beginning to sound like a training program with volume.   Now for intensity... 

do we see accountants as goblins?

this is how the bunny sees them