Ask me anything...

...except you edit your question once I answer to make it funny.

you have an email?

Once upon a time, I dreamt I was a butterfly, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a butterfly. I was conscious only of my happiness as a butterfly, unaware that I was myself. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly, dreaming I am a man. What is the truth, master?

I could beat you in a fight easily because I'm fat.

1. You'd have to aim for my head, because my body is padded by 6 inches of tactical karate fat while I can strike you anywhere and hit vital organs due to your total lack of absorption you'll just die.

2. Thanks to the extra 150 lbs of armor I carry around, my I'm lifting 24/7. I won't even need to punch you I can literally just sprint at you and trample you to death like a bison.

3. Your girlfriend knows this and sees my fatness as a virtue and a strength. She wants a strong man to protect her and provide for her and being fat shows I have an overabundance of material resources. So not only will I be beating you like a bull, I'll be the bull in your bedroom nailing your girlfriend.

huh?