assertiveness
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Being assertive is the middle ground; it's encouraged. If the other person misinterprets you, then that's his problem.
to steal from wikipedia:
Passive communicators do not defend their own personal boundaries and thus allow aggressive people to harm or otherwise unduly influence them. They are also typically not likely to risk trying to influence anyone else. Aggressive people do not respect the personal boundaries of others and thus are liable to harm others while trying to influence them. A person communicates assertively by not being afraid to speak his or her mind or trying to influence others, but doing so in a way that respects the personal boundaries of others. They are also willing to defend themselves against aggressive incursions.
Personally its about self-confidence. If you are self confident, not cocky, you can assert yourself and your opinions in away that just represent your viewpoint, without having to 'defend' or 'influence' someone else's viewpoint... hence, it won't turn into aggression.
Oct 5, 2007
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#4
I agree with both of the responses above. But I'm sure we've all had experiences where we thought we were being assertive, and indeed probably were, but the other person took it as aggression. Therefore, maybe it's not good enough to be assertive; but also keep in mind who we are communicating with. I've taken training sessions in jobs I've had in the past about this and I'm just suggesting this is quite a complicated issue.
many of us have been told that it is okay to be assertive as long as it does not become aggression. However, the problem is that the person we are interacting with can easily take what we call assertiveness as aggressiveness. one option, of course, is to take the easy path and be extremely passive but that has many drawbacks. what are your thoughts?