Chess Koans

How many chess koan forum founders does it take to confuse a Bishop?

Only one ... if the Bishop is already confused.

Cool song -- don't remember ever hearing it.  Also don't know what it means.  And that means it's an actual "chess koan!"   Why would someone want someone else to tell him he's the Bishop?  Doesn't he already know that?  If he's not really the Bishop, being told he is won't make it true.  I shall meditate on this.

Chinese poetry seems cool.  Also cool:  strange songs about odd airlines in Asia, and misplaced marriage licenses.  Much to think about.

Ah.  New chess riddle:

Q  How is marriage like chess?  

A:  (# 1)  There are no do-overs:  make  the wrong move, you lose.

How about some chess Haiku?

The first Pawn advances.

The first shot is fired.

... at the first Pawn.

Nice pun! One small glitch:

Haiku's "syllables" rule  is

Five, seven and five

You are fortunate, Grasshopper, that MIL does not suffer from epilepsy.

I guess mine was a Lowku.

Ah, I see you have a gift for neologisms.  How about puns?  Some consider puns the lowest form of verbal humor.  (presumably then, even lower than a "Lowku.")  Personally, I try to keep an opun mind on the subject.  Especially with regard to chess-related puns.  

In fact, some knights, when I can't sleep, I'll start may king up dreadful pawn after dreadful pawn, just trying to get some piece, until I finally get really board and just check out.

King's Pawn,

Queen's Pawn,

Rook's Pawn,

Frog spawn.

Alas, my chess pun challenge has left me overextended.  I find my mental file of chess terms has insufficient material to support an opun match along these lines, so I'm left hanging.   I can only mention, en passing, that in the face of an apparent triangulation in this game, I'm resigned to being forced into an endgame -- isolated, poorly positioned, with only one patzer-like piece of tactical advice left:  any time you see your Queen and your Exposed King being forked by a Knight, this is what's called a "Royal Fork," and I'd advise you to consider suggesting a "draw."  (Drawing stuff can be fun!)

oh mother in law what a statuesqe figure u have there

oh mother in law, my my my

Oh, my, no.  I'm afraid such a statue would simply strike fear into the hearts of any or all of those tired, poor huddled masses as they were coming into the harbor.  No matter how much they were yearning to breathe free, they'd most certainly reconsider their plans.  Even the most wretched among them - the homeless, the tempest-tossed, and the especially the ones who were real ticked off about being called "refuse" - even they would have second thoughts at the sight of that statue.  I'd like to think they'd make the wise choice:  veering away from the Island of Manhattan, changing course, and setting sail instead for the truly friendly, genuinely warm and welcoming Island of Gilligan.

OH MOTHERINLAW HOW ELEGANT YOU SPEAK <->(SRY, NOT YELLING) soft and gentle like a breeze across an open lake shore  and like u said refuse i dont think id refuse an opinion like your speach.

Lovely music.  Sad and lovely.  And weird.

S. Tartakower - “Tactics is what you do when there is something to do , 

strategy is what you do when there is nothing to do.

Ah, these are "wise words" indeed!

Now, whenever I don't know what to do, so I make some random move, based on ... well, nothing, really ... now, at least, I finally know what to call it:  "strategy." (!)

I think you’ve got it by Jove! Pardon me if he was a progenitor.

Re: your statue image.

Hmmm. Wow man. Evocative graphic and a little zen.  Selah