Corrupt a Wish

Granted, you become a different person with the username ker123 on a different forum. 

I wish I had a super-fast computer.

Granted your reaction time has slowed down alot to the point that slow computers now appear fast to you.

I wish I had a chess set made out of gold

Granted, but people steal it.

I wish I was adorable!

(NYAN~!)

Granted. You get turned into a kitten. The humans find you adorable, but you look like a nice snack to the mean dogs around you.

I wish i had a rose garden.

Wish granted. Roses have thorns and you trip and fall in it.

I wish life was simpler.

k?

Granted you have an average life with nothing exciting or terrifying for the rest of your new simple life.

I wish for a katana that never breaks or dulls

Granted, but you accidentally slice yourself in half.

I wish someone would show Houdini who's boss.

Granted. Anarchy reigns. There are no laws, hence, no crimes. All your possessions are taken away, and you're forced into hiding.

I wish nobody had allergies.

Granted all the peaple with allergies now have asthma

I wish it was not so hot where I live

Granted, but you're now freezing to death.

I wish chess.com doubled as a dating site

Granted, but now the site is full of trolls.

I wish it wasn't raining right now.

Granted.. but now you have unleashed the beginning of a 100 year drout.

I wish people would respect eachothers beliefs instead of publically making fun of them :)

Granted, now we instead make fun of them in private.

I wish I was good enough to beat Houndini on 3000 setting.

Edit: too slow ...

Granted. Houdini is hacked so the 3000 setting moves at random

I wish cancer ceased to exist.

(I feel special..lol..two people corrupted my wish)

Granted, it turns into a horrible disease that vaporizes you.  i wish for eternal awesomeness!

Granted, but rivals make themselves more awesome and you become unawesome(?) again in comparison.

I wish humans were smarter.

Granted. It turns out to be a contagious disease, and the entire world population also gets it.

I wish everybody was healthy.